


Letting Go

by kuhekabir



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Underage Character, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-25
Updated: 2012-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-04 07:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/391309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuhekabir/pseuds/kuhekabir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles was suddenly everywhere: in his space, in his life and his scent stirred things in Derek he hadn’t thought about in years. There was only one question on his mind: what was Stiles up to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will also be posted on my LJ account in due time. Also, there is some reference to dub-con in the past so if this is a trigger of any kind, please consider yourself warned.
> 
> It is only referenced and as of now, does not actually feature in the current story line.

Derek heard the car approaching long before human ears would’ve picked it up. Sniffing the air quickly confirmed who was approaching once the car pulled up to a stop.

He was already out of the house, walking towards Allison’s father before Argent could get out of the vehicle. Leaning against the hood of his own car, he waited for the hunter to approach him. Folding his arms across his chest could’ve been interpreted as a defensive gesture but Derek chose to claim it was simply for done to provide comfort.

Not bothering with any sort of greeting, Derek continued to eye the hunter warily, watching him approach. He would be lying if he didn’t take some pleasure in the fact that Argent was moving carefully, his arms at his side to show he meant no threat.

“I know what my sister did,” Argent opened the conversation which caused Derek to raise an eye brow. Everyone knew by now what Kate had done; from setting the fire which killed his family to ruthlessly going against the so precious hunter code.

Framing her for the murders had only been justified in his mind, even if it had been Derek’s uncle who had actually done the killing. Kate was still to blame for everything. If she hadn’t tried to eradicate his whole family, Peter would’ve never gone insane. 

“And I’m sorry for what happened…” Argent continued to the bafflement of Derek. 

Nodding, he showed he had accepted the heartfelt words even if he had no clue why they had been uttered. He might not like Allison’s father, he was a hunter after all, but he could respect the guy, especially if he kept to the so called hunter’s code. Derek would never completely trust him but as long as he ensured to only hunt and kill those of his kind who’d gone feral, they weren’t going to have any problems.

“You were what…” Argent wasn’t done talking yet to the continued puzzlement of Derek who just kept eying the guy silently as if he was some sort of unique species about to sprout two heads. Better to be careful than sorry, right? “All of sixteen or seventeen when my sister seduced you?”

Derek finally frowned, his brows drawing together because now he could honestly say he might hear the words but he had no clue what was being said.

Had he really come here to remind him how his stupidity had led to his family’s death? If he hadn’t been so taken in by a pretty face then he wouldn’t have given her the information she needed to plan her attack. What kind of apology was this?

Anger started to stir deep inside him and he tried to put a lid on it. Rage was always a part of being a wolf because being a predator came with a more aggressive side, with his more violent tendencies being on the forefront. Being a born wolf helped with control since he didn’t have to adjust to these new feelings but ever since he’d killed his uncle…well, he had a hard time reigning himself in.

He was never supposed to become the Alpha after all…this had been Laura’s calling and yet, here he was. He wasn’t about to run for the hills, not when there were pups around who needed his help. Accepting his obligations didn’t, however, help him deal with his resentment at being forced into a role he never wanted any part of. Barking orders was one thing but actually being responsible for the lives in his pack? It was daunting thought and in the privacy of his own mind, Derek was man enough to admit to it. 

When Derek still only gave silence as an answer, Argent ploughed on. “Not only did she go against our code…I mean, if it had been a spur of the moment thing,” here Argent faltered for a moment before he continued. “But she planned this, she thought everything through including seducing a you.”

Regardless of how the calculating bitch had screwed him over and probably was responsible for what some might call _trust or intimacy issues_ , for a while it had been more than just good. After all, wasn’t it every teenage boy’s fantasy to sleep with an older, pretty woman? And Kate hadn’t been that much older than him…early twenties, right? So what was the problem?

“I’m sorry,” he said again while Derek simply continued to stare. Should he say something now?

“Err…” he tried, “It’s not as if she put a gun to my head and forced me into her bed.”

He cringed, when he realized how the words had come out but seriously? Being 16, nearly 17, and horny and more than willing to loose his pesky virginity…well, out of all the things Kate had done, he couldn’t honestly say this was what he was worried about. Sure, she’d been older. But it wasn’t as if she’d been forty! Those few years of difference between them wouldn’t have made anyone blink if he’d been 20 and she’d been nearly 30. Well, technically she’d been adult and he’d been a teenager but life was rarely black and white…and this was what Argent was hung up about?

“She killed my family,” Derek continued, the colour slowly bleeding out of his eyes until they shone red and his vision narrowed down to his prey. To give the guy credit, Argent didn’t move, standing his ground and staring him down. Either was he was very brave or very stupid but then again, weren’t those two things kind of the same?

“She did,” Allison’s Dad admitted. “And there are no words to ever make this right. I can’t do anything about the dead,” he continued, “but I can do something about the living. And I also know, she would’ve used your past against you when she held you captive…”

Derek bit his lower lip, the only form of motion he allowed himself. Truthfully, if he hadn’t already known the woman was short a few fuses, his captivity would’ve clued him in easily. Still, those memories had joined the pile of a lot of others he’d rather not think about, including her innuendos, unwanted touching and generally…well, _everything_.

“You’re the Alpha now,” the guy continued. “I kind of need you stable and not emotionally compromised from what she did.”

The growl starting deep in his throat, vibrating through his chest and echoing through his soul was the first thing which had Argent looking kind of spooked. The pleasant buzz Derek got from this, evened out the slowly rising anger until it settled at a simmering level he could easily live with.

Argent must’ve figured this little chat was over because he nodded once more before turning around, stalking back to his car. Derek kept watch until he was out of sight, listening to the fading sounds of the car moving away until nothing but the forest remained.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to ignore what had just happened. Sure, he might not have held down an actual relationship since his time with Kate…she might’ve screwed him over royally when it came to romantic relationships but honestly, could anyone blame him? And you didn’t need to be in a relationship to get off, something which Derek could definitely attest to since he hadn’t been celibate since then.

If his control ever started to slip, then it would be for different reasons and not because he was _emotionally damaged_ by a lunatic. This would be giving too much credit to her and frankly, she’d ruined enough of his life already.

Without giving it any further thought, he turned around, walking briskly back into the ruins of his house.

Because living in a place which could totally collapse around you at any given moment in time and where also your whole family died, was totally the sane thing to do, right? No trauma or issues there…none at all…

##

“You’re coming with me. No argument.”

It was downright laughable how Stiles stood there, hands at his hips, left leg twitching, trying to glare him into submission.

The funny thing though was: it was working. Still, he could put up a good front, right? Otherwise the boy might get ideas and then where would he be?

“Come on,” Stiles had now moved on to whining when Derek made not attempts to move from his ratty mattress. Holding out a hand, Derek eyed it as if it was a snake before, with a long suffering sigh, he reached out, accepting the help to get onto his feet.

“I’m going to regret this,” he mumbled but Stiles’ winning smile chased all dark thoughts away.

“Movie night, pizza and your pack. You can’t ask for more, right? So come on, before Scott and Jackson manage to eat everything in sight…”

The threat was very real because it was downright possible for those two pups to devour the pizzas as if they’d been on a hunger strike for days.

Stiles herded him out his car and when he tried to shove Derek into his, he shook his head.

“I’ll meet you there…”

Stiles didn’t look convinced, as if leaving Derek out of his sight would make him vanish into thin air.

“Fine,” Derek heard him muttering. Amusement rippled through him, taking him by surprise. Stiles was easily the most lively of his pack and while there were times when Derek’s ears actually hurt from the constant noise the teen was able to inflict on anyone nearby, deep down he actually didn’t mind since the so called _noise_ also chased the shadows away.

Parking the car in front of Stiles’ home was easy and he was barely out of the car when Stiles bounced towards him. Normally, he would never attribute _bounce_ to anything but a ball but considering how much energy the teen exhibited, it was actually quite an apt description.

“Come on,” Stiles waved at him, stopping shy of actually grabbing Derek by the hand and dragging him into his home. Maybe the boy did have some self preservation after all!

He didn’t need his sensitive hearing to hear the rest of his young pack fighting over pizza and what movie to watch. 

Stiles quickly opened the door, eying him all the time as if he was afraid Derek would bolt. Honestly, this was his pack! Where would he go? Sure, they might all be young and under normal circumstances, a pack consisted of families, of members of different age groups, but he’d gone from having nothing to a small pack so he had no room to complain. It was better than being totally alone…

If he were given to lots of self doubt, he’d probably wonder if he was worthy of such a burden but he wasn’t the type to wallow or to spend much time on self reflection.

“Hey, guys!” Stiles enthusiastically greeted everyone.

All eyes were on them and seconds later, Derek had to fight off welcoming hugs. Pups were usually very eager and tactile and apparently even more so when they were newly turned. Jackson in particular practically basked in his presence and Derek thought it must’ve got something to do with him being adopted and never quite feeling good enough.

Being part of a pack, where all you had to do was be alive to belong, seemed to do wonders for the guy. He still had a surly temper but Derek could relate. He found people downright creepy if they were always all sunshine and roses. _That_ just wasn’t right…

Lydia had been a surprise because it had taken a long time for the bite to take but once she’d woken up, she’d embraced being a wolf with such tenacity it had reminded him of his sister. She, in due time, might make a good Alpha some day, he was certain of it. She already had better control over her emotions than Scott and Jackson combined…

The only one standing slightly apart, shuffling his feet, was Scott. When Lydia and Jackson pulled away, Scott moved over, awkwardly embracing Derek before, as if stung, moving away again.

“Let’s get started!” Stiles took charge again, grabbing a box of pizza from the living room table, flopping down on the sofa. Scott and Jackson were right there almost instantly, fighting over yet another box until Allison stepped in, handing the pizza to Lydia.

“If you can’t be civil, this is what happens,” she told the two werewolves and like a kicked puppy, Scott made a face but then he demurely followed his girl friend towards the easy chair. They folded themselves into a tight knot of limbs while Derek and Lydia laid claim to the rug. The closest spot to the pizza, Derek noted.

This left one spot for him and before Stiles could spread out any further, he made his way towards the sofa, making himself comfortable.

“Pizza?” Stiles held out a slice for him and Derek took it, sniffing at it.

“There’s extra meat on it,” Stiles informed him, smiling at him and when Derek took a bit, he looked very pleased as if he had made the pizza himself from scratch.

Stiles might be entertaining but he was the only one in their little pack Derek couldn’t quite figure out. There were times when he thought he knew what made the teen tick and then he acted like a totally different person. Try as he might, he never knew what was going to happen next.

It was unsettling but the weird thing was, instead of pacing anxiously, his wolf usually only displayed curiosity.

The slice of pizza didn’t last long and when he was done, Stiles held out another one. Was he trying to feed him? Derek narrowed his eyes at the boy but Stiles simply smiled his most wining smile at him. He was up to something, Derek knew this much.

Still, there was pizza, a crap movie to watch but hey, pack time was all that mattered. He must’ve dozed off at some point because when some sort of awareness settled back in, he was slumped to the side, face pressed against the cushions and there was a warm body snuggled against him.

Sleep lulled him quickly back down into the darkness so he only twitched once, causing whoever was close to him to tense before relaxing again.

It was no secrete that the last few weeks, hell, the last few months had been tough. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d slept through the night without waking out from either a bad dream or restlessness. And he refused to admit to having nightmares; he only had bad dreams. There was a difference. Nightmares were for children and people who scared easily and bad dreams were for people like him who had memories they’d rather forget. See the distinction?

Coming back home to where his family had died, loosing his sister, finding out his uncle had gone off the deep end and then coming face to face with the nutcase who had ruined his life…well, he was coping, just not as well as he would’ve liked.

Besides, having been a fugitive for a while hadn’t made things easier either. His name was cleared now but he still got funny looks in town. Not that he cared what other people thought but it made finding a job a little bit hard. Thankfully, he didn’t need much to live on and he had a roof over his head. A leaky one, maybe, but it wasn’t as if he was camping out in the woods.

Exhaustion was probably the only reason why he allowed himself to let go, to succumb to sleep even if he wasn’t in familiar surroundings. His pack was here, this felt kind of like home…why, he didn’t know…but his bones were mellow, his breathing eased and he didn’t even mind the hand placed high on his thigh, thumb stroking over the inseam of his jeans because right now, he was just tired.

For once, he was comfortable enough to let his defences fall away. Sleep made anyone vulnerable and if Derek was anything, the it wasn’t _vulnerable_. He was a take charge kind of guy, in control of his life even if it sometimes felt like he was on a roller coaster ride so the term _vulnerable_ clearly didn’t apply to him. Sleep though was a different matter. Regardless of how tough you were, when you were fast asleep, you were defenceless so was it any wonder he didn’t sleep well? It was kind of a surprise then, how he managed to doze off at all since he couldn’t quite remember the last time he’d fallen asleep with anyone nearby. If he’d have to strain his memory, the last time he could recall having nodded off with someone close by, might’ve been with his sister, long before his family had turned to ash.

And no, he wasn’t broken up about this either. In the quiet of his mind, he growled at himself, cursing Argent for putting stupid ideas into his head, like _being damaged_ or any other stupid shit like that.

The guy might know a thing of two about werewolves and how to hunt them but he didn’t know a thing about Derek Hale.

Mildly comforted by the thought, he finally succumbed to sleep.

##

“Shhh…don’t wake him…” Stiles hissed, voice low, menacing.

_Too late_ , Derek thought but he was warm and comfortable so he decided to stay put. Uncharacteristically lazy of him but hey, even he was allowed to bask in warmth for once. As a werewolf, he didn’t feel cold temperatures like humans did but living in a house without any insulation or proper protection, well, he didn’t mind not shivering for once. So sue him!

“Stiles,” a male’s voice, grown up, warning Stiles and yet, the teen only said, “Shhhhh…”

There was the soft padding of feet as his pack filed out of the house with the front door closing with a muffled clack.

“Dad,” Stiles whined and then the voices drifted away into another room. Derek wasn’t really actively listening in but hey, werewolf hearing, so he couldn’t quite help overhearing what was being said.

“He’s been living in his burnt down house since he got here,” Stiles complained. “He can’t stay there. Look at the guy. He’s exhausted…”

“Stiles…”

“He saved my life. Hell, he saved all our lives…and you owe him for chasing the guy around…”

“I didn’t name him as a suspect,” Stiles’ father pointed out. “You and Scott did.”

Silence followed the true statement and maybe someone else, not Derek, might hold a grudge but he understood why the boys had done it. They’d thought he was dead and they had to name someone because they’d had enough self preservation not to start ranting and raving about creepy creatures in the dark. And since they’d thought he was dead, well, what harm could there possibly have been?

That he had actually turned out to be alive, well, shit happened. Oh, he didn’t say he hadn’t been pissed. Furious was a good word even but, eventually, he’d calmed down long enough to accept their reasoning. They’d tried to protect their own little pack and Derek hadn’t been a part of it. He could understand loyalty.

“Dad…” Stiles pleaded again and while Derek was still pleasantly drifting in and out of sleep, a silent communication must’ve passed between father and son because the next thing Derek knew, there was a soft blanket draped over him, even tugged tightly under his chin.

Annoyance and protest flared inside him because he wasn’t a child in need of being put to bed but then there was a familiar soft touch on his forehead, fingers running through his short hair and he basically just went limp and went back to sleep.

Maybe he needed to investigate Stiles to see if he had some sort of wolf calming powers because if it was going to become a habit that he gave into the teen’s whims, then he needed to know about it so he could reassert his _Alpha-ness_. And yes, that was a word. He said so.

##

The shift from being sound asleep to wide awake came instantly. Derek jerked, breath hitching while he mentally flailed about, wondering where he was.

Outwardly, he didn’t move but internally, his mind was racing. Blinking rapidly, his eyes adjusted and the events from last night rushed back.

For some unknown reason, he’d allowed himself to be lulled into sleep, forced into complacency as if Stiles had waved a magic wand.

Pushing the blanket aside, he got to his feet, rolling his shoulders. There was a kink in his neck but he’d slept rough often enough to know, it would go away soon enough. And regardless of how lumpy and uncomfortable the sofa had been, it was nothing compared to sleeping out in the woods.

Stiles didn’t seem to be up yet but there was the faint aroma of coffee assaulting his senses and he could hear someone rummaging around in the kitchen. Since he’d rather not run into Stiles’ father, he inched towards the door. Sneaking away as if he had something to hide might not be becoming of an Alpha, or of any man really, but he’d also rather avoid any awkward situation if he could. Avoiding conflict or maybe only racing towards battles he could win, was a manly thing to do, right? He thought about smacking his head against the wall because since when had he started doubting his manhood? Stiles was to blame for this, he was sure.

“If you know what’s good for you, you won’t disappoint my son.”

Derek froze before slowly turning around. He crooked his head in a silent question. After a sigh, the Sherriff elaborated. “He likes you,” he slowly said. “He feels he owes you something and frankly, I can’t argue with the facts. You did save my son’s life.”

Derek opened his mouth to point out that there had been more people present that night. Sure, he might’ve landed the killing blow when it came to his uncle but he hadn’t single handedly saved the day (or the night).

“I won’t put up with his pouting or whining if you walk out,” the man continued. “So, I’ll put an extra mattress into Stiles’ room and you can get your stuff and move in some time later today.”

“Huh?”

“Son,” the Sheriff was now moving closer, looking all sincere. Kind of like Argent had yesterday which had Derek’s hackles rising almost immediately. Balling his fingers into tight fists, he stood his ground, fighting away the urge to growl. Argent knew about him but this man didn’t.

“You can’t stay in your family’s old house. Not in its current condition. You’ll stay here until you find our own place or until you’ve managed to make enough repairs to be fit for human habitation…”

Derek blinked. He was supposed to move in _here_? With Stiles and his Dad? What the hell?

He opened his mouth, about to refute the offer because Alpha or not, he didn’t need charity. He could look after himself. As a matter of fact, he’d been on his own long enough to know what he could and couldn’t handle.

“There’ll be no argument,” the Sherriff continued. “You know Stiles. If you don’t take the offer, he’ll be insufferable and do you really want to put me and yourself through that?”

Derek closed his mouth. He might’ve a point there. And to be honest, not having to worry about the roof caving in might actually not be so bad. He didn’t have to stay here long, just a few days to appease Stiles and then, surely, there would be no harm in leaving.

He nodded to show his agreement and then Stiles’ father broke out into a wide grin. “Good, good,” He said, holding out a key. “This is our spare key. You’ll probably need it.”

Derek took the offered key, pocketing it swiftly. “I’ll…” he made a vague notion towards the door, receiving a nod in understanding. 

Derek wouldn’t classify it as _fleeing the scene_ but he didn’t waste any time leaving the house, getting into the car and heading back to his family’s home.

_Maybe becoming an Alpha messed with your mind more than you would think_ , he mused, _since he couldn’t recall ever having a more bizarre night or morning to deal with._

What was Stiles up to?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the overwhelming feedback! I hope I can keep writing a story you will all like and stay interested in. Here's Chapter 2. There probably won't be an update tomorrow because I got plans to see Avengers!

The night of the full moon saw everyone gathering outside the Hale house. Derek was leaning against the wall, watching his pack mingle and get ready. The two humans were also there, providing support. Since they were pack, they shouldn’t be in any danger but he was still going to lay down a few ground rules. Just in case…

He moved towards them, meeting them half way. It was easy to overhear Scott’s complaints. The guy hadn’t shut up since he’d arrived and he’d probably ranted Allison’s ears off on the way over too. If he’d be in a relationship with the pup, he’d put his foot down to stop the insistent yapping but maybe he was doing other things to keep Allison happy. _Yeah_ , he thought, _they might be pack but there were a few things, he didn’t need to know about._

“We could be at the movies now,” Scott whined. “Like we discussed.”

“It’s not my fault, you forgot today was the full moon,” Allison hissed right back.

Derek frowned. Scott had forgotten about the full moon? How could he have missed the signs? Even as far into denial as the young man was, this was taking it a bit far.

“I don’t want to be here,” Scott continued with his complaints. “This isn’t normal…”

Derek’s vision narrowed down until he was seeing everything in shades of red. From the startled gasps all around him, it was easy to deduce his eyes were mirroring his change in vision. It was these moments, which brought it home rather forcefully, how Peter’s actions had shaped everyone’s lives. His pack trusted him but every time his eyes flared red, it was a reminder of his uncle and the fear and tension emanating from his new family was almost enough to force himself back down to normal tension levels. The last thing he wanted was to terrify the newly turned wolves.

“If you don’t want to be here,” he said to Scott, eyes narrowed to slits, “then I would suggest you leave.”

“What?” Scott sounded confused so Derek clarified. “No one is forcing you to be here. If you don’t want to be a part of this pack, then walk away. No one’s stopping you.”

Maybe a true Alpha would be able to reign in his Betas but he was at his wit’s end when it came to Scott. The teen was simply unable to accept certain facts of life and whatever Derek tried, it was only met with opposition and complaints. All he was trying to do was teach Scott how to control himself, embrace his new life and all he got for it was grief and more complaints. He could understand Scott’s anger at being turned against his will but no amount of ranting and raving about was going to change the fact he _was a wolf_ and unless he learned how to live with it, he was going to be miserable for the rest of his life. Why was this so hard to understand?

There seemed to be some confusion around as to how dictatorial the rule of an Alpha was supposed to be. Those who followed the old laws, held rigid to the belief that once you joined, you stayed a member for life, acted as if leaving the pack was akin to a death sentence. And yes, Derek had heard of packs out there where even contemplating leaving was punishable by death. But it was rare, even amongst those who liked to exert total control to go this far. His family might’ve been on the more lenient side of things and he had every intention of following in their footsteps. One point though was important to make: just because he didn’t stick his nose into everyone’s business and demanded nothing but mindless obedience, didn’t mean he would accept blatant opposition to the point of sheer stupidity.

A pack was like family and it was only natural for some members to drift away, go away to college or marry outside their tiny circle and why should this be wrong? And just because a member might move a few towns over or to the other side of the country, didn’t change who they were. Of course, it was the nature of wolves to stick together and even within in his family’s pack, it had been rare for someone to move very far away but it hadn’t been unheard of. Probably knowing the option was there, had put an end to any sort of rebellion or discontent. Often just knowing you had a choice was all what mattered.

When it came to Scott though, enough was enough. He’d helped the pup along as much as he could, shown more patience than was healthy, to the point of even grinding his teeth together until his jaw hurt and now he’d reached his limit.

If Scott didn’t want any part of this, then Derek wasn’t going to force him. He’d learned enough control that if he applied himself, he wasn’t going to be a danger to anyone. And besides, he had Allison as well at his side who could easily ask her father for help if they really needed it.

He held Scott’s gaze and he wasn’t the least bit surprised when Scott took him up on his offer. He turned his back, walking away without another backward glance. Shocked silence followed and even Allison looked like a fish caught outside the water.

She mouthed _I’m sorry_ at him before hurrying after her boyfriend. He wouldn’t have minded keeping her in his pack but if Scott left, it was kind of a given she would be leaving too because her loyalty was to her partner, to her potential mate, and not to him.

Derek’s gaze followed them until the car disappeared around a corner. He cleared his throat, swallowing down any hurt he might be feeling. He’d failed Scott. There was no other way to look at it. A more competent Alpha would’ve made the teen see reason by now, explained exactly why a pack was the only way to go and then the idiot wouldn’t have turned his back on them. He wouldn’t have turned his back to Derek. Their relationship might’ve been full of pitfalls but when it had counted, Derek had always been there for him.

He swallowed hard again. No, there weren’t any tears in his eyes. And no, he wasn’t going to bemoan the fact of what kind of failure he was but for one tiny second, the pain of loosing once again a family member, even one as controversial as Scott, was almost too much to bear. They might not be related but what he’d failed to communicate effectively by now to Scott was that pack and family was kind of the same thing. Why was this so hard to understand? Was Scott being obtuse on purpose?

Rolling his shoulders, he straightened up, briefly glancing at Stiles before making eye contact with the two remaining wolves in his pack. Showing confidence was all which mattered. If he showed any weakness, it would spread and then they would loose confidence in his ability to lead. He didn’t worry about any of them challenging him but no good could come of them considering him unsure and torn up. There was no way he could let them know how much this had hurt and how tough it had been for him to give Scott the choice. 

Instead of his pain and his tiny attempts at feeling sorry for himself, he forced himself to focus on his anger. Making the switch was easier than it probably should be but then again, hurt and anger were closely related, at least in his book. Taking a deep breath, he allowed his annoyance at Scott to come to forefront, focusing on how the teen had chosen to walk away from his family, to betray what being a wolf meant, just because he couldn’t face facts.

If Scott ever changed his mind and if he was serious about coming back, Derek would consider it but for now, he was no longer a part of their tiny family and he was no longer a concern of Derek’s.

When his eyes locked with Stiles again, he noticed how pale the teen had become. Scott was Stiles’ best friend and in an uncharacteristic show of compassion, Derek offered a weak smile. An Alpha never needed to explain himself but maybe he should, just in case. “Does anyone else want to leave?”

He made sure to make eye contact with everyone else and no one moved as if twitching a muscle would give a false indication of wanting to leave their little group. _Frozen on the spot_ took on a whole new meaning.

“I thought, as an Alpha,” Stiles’ voice was quiet but still forceful, “you could force people to stay…wasn’t this what Peter was doing to Scott? Trying to force him to kill, to leave his friends and family so he would join him?”

“Yes,” Derek agreed. “I could make Scott stay. I could make him submit, force him to shut up but what good would this do? It wouldn’t change how he felt about being a werewolf or how he saw our pack. A pack is like family and I’m not my uncle. I won’t force anyone into staying if he or she truly doesn’t want to stay. This isn’t what a true pack is about…”

Stiles nodded as if he’d thought the same thing and was relieved Derek had said it out loud.

“Can I still talk to Scott then?” Stiles asked after a few second.

Derek frowned. “Sure,” he said. “But you can’t share any pack business with him and he won’t be welcome here again. Surely, you’ve got other friends as well who aren’t a part of this…like Danny, right? You’re all friends with him and isn’t he Jackson’s best friend too?”

Derek was still trying to get a hang of the circle of friends his little pack was involved in. It was easy with Stiles and Scott because they had always been kind of self contained but it was different with Lydia and Jackson because those two were, for lack of any other term, _popular_. Besides, it wasn’t healthy to only socialize within the pack. It bred nothing but discontent.

A collective sigh of relief could be heard and Derek’s senses told him how everyone else relaxed almost immediately. Had they seriously been worried about him trying to forbid them form seeing their friends?

“Thanks, Derek,” Lydia rushed towards him, nothing a streak of strawberry blond hair in the landscape as she moved swifter than a mere human could, before she pulled him into a tight hug. He grunted because despite her smaller size, she sure knew how to _squeeze_. “You’re the best Alpha ever.”

Derek didn’t know about _that_ but he had to fight very hard to keep the shit eating grin from taking over his face.

“Now,” he changed the topic, “the moon’s nearly fully risen so what do you say we get started?”

A chorus of howls was his answer with Stiles cringing and raising his hands to protect his ears.

“Stiles,” he told the young man, “one word of caution…if you run with us and someone approaches you, don’t run away. Wolves like nothing more than to give chase…”

“You won’t actually try to eat me, right?”

“No,” Derek snorted. “Your scent identifies you as pack but under the moon, our instincts are very strong and in the heat of the moment, we might try to play with you, forgetting you’re only human.”

“So if one you tries to chase me…”

“Don’t move,” Derek completed the sentence, “and stare them down.”

“Easier said than done,” Derek could hear the teen muttering.

##

Of course, he should’ve known that the one person who would mange to defy anything he said and be totally innocent looking about it, would be Stiles. Why he was still surprised by this, Derek didn’t know. Must be a failing on his part.

As an Alpha, he could shift completely into wolf form and while this was very appealing on many levels, he’d only done so once since he’d taken up the mantel of pack leader and even then, it had been somewhat totally accidental. Not that he would ever admit to having lost control, it would set a bad example for the rest of his young pack.

Truthfully, while running fully shifted was alluring, he’d rather enjoy the moon with Jackson and Lydia like he’d done so many times before with his…there was a pause in his thoughts before he managed to finished the sentence…like he’d so many times before with his real family.

It created a bond, it made them appear equal and it was downright fun to chase them up and down the forest. And he meant literally up and down because Jackson apparently had gotten confused with being a cat and actually attempted to climb up a tree! This had been the most hilarious thing Derek had seen in a long time.

A growl emitted low from his chest when he saw Lydia cornering their one human member. Stiles only looked very interested instead of afraid which was both a good thing and also fundamentally stupid.

Derek hadn’t been lying when he’d said it was quite safe for him to join them on their run because his scent would identify him as a member but wolves often liked to play rough and _playing rough_ with a human, who couldn’t heal like they could, might not end so well.

He was glad Stiles wasn’t outright terrified but was a healthy dose of at least, let’s say _unease_ , too much to ask for?

Apparently so, because here he was, staring wide eyed with his honey brown eyes at Lydia, crooking his head just so to give the allusion of being a deer caught in the stare of a predator. Idiot.

Lydia crouched down, eyes narrowed, her long hair blowing slightly in the wind. Derek allowed his eyes to flash red, giving the anger some free reign and after a few tense seconds, Lydia huffed, turning away. He’d been right; she’d make a good Alpha one day.

And then, Stiles did the one thing Derek had told him not to. When his eyes met Derek’s, he crooked an eye brow, smiled mischievously and then…then he turned and _ran_.

Despite knowing better, Derek’s legs were already working before his brain caught up with his movements. And then…well, then it was too late because it was a long time since he’d actually chased someone through the woods without fearing for his life or wanting to main and his instinct simply took over.

The sway of the moon might hold less power over him than over newly turned wolves but even someone who’d been born to this, wasn’t immune to its call.

Stiles’ usual scent, which was a mixture of sweets and almonds of all things, almost made him dizzy since it now mingled with sweat, adrenalin and just a tiny bit of tension and fear. His wolf basked under the notion of being able to frighten his prey, wanting to play some more which was the only reason Derek would be able to late think off as to why he suddenly pounced on Stiles, pushing him to the ground.

They both landed in a heap on the floor and, maybe, by some divine intervention, they didn’t land rough but on a soft bed of fallen leaves.

Stiles _umphfted_ as all air lefts his lungs, kicking up his legs and actually managing to displace Derek for second. He’d just rolled onto his back when Derek was back on top of him, grabbing him by his slender wrists and pushing them into the ground, immobilizing the teen.

Pressing his nose to the crook of Stiles’ neck shouldn’t feel this good but it did. And instead of trying to shove him off, shouting or doing anything, Stiles went limp and actually turned his head to the side so Derek could nose in deeper.

The teen’s chest fell and rose rapidly and the quick beats of his heart were like drums in the night, echoing through Derek like church bells on a Sunday, inviting the faithful to mass.

 _Home_.

 _Safety_.

 _Peace_.

 _Tranquillity_.

Much like the night before, when he’d fallen asleep on Stiles’ sofa, the more he inhaled, the more relaxed he became and then, totally out of the blue, all fight left him and he practically melted into the young body below.

His eyes fluttered shut as his tongue came out, licking the spicy sweat off the hollow of Stiles’ neck, nosing in deeper, wanting to crawl into the young teen’s body like a pup wanted to do with his mother.

At some stage he must’ve let go of the teen’s wrists because there was a hand softly touching his bare back, running soothing circles which sent shivers of _something_ up and down his spine while fingers were once again in his hair, digging in.

Maybe there was something in the air which made wolves think they were cats because Derek didn’t even think twice about leaning into the touch, bumping his head against the soft fingers and the purr breaking free from deep inside him was…a soft growl? It definitely wasn’t a _purr_ …so he’d settle for calling it a _growl_ then. Standards had to be maintained after all…

Sanity reasserted itself when Stiles clung to him even further and Derek noticed something else: a bulge in his jeans which was met with an equally interesting dent in Stiles’ trousers. He froze, a myriad of things running through his head, but on the forefront was one thought: _not like this!_

There was a huge part of him which balked at the thought of even thinking of Stiles in sexual terms since the teen was roughly the same age he’d been when he’d dallied with Kate and look how that had turned out! Not that he had any intention of going crazy on Stiles, murdering his Dad and burning down his house but there was a warning voice in the back of his head, which sounded suspiciously like Allison’s father, which told him he was an adult and Stiles wasn’t.

Besides, this was a moon run. His judgment was impaired and hadn’t he practically jumped on Stiles and forced the teen to the ground?

Tearing himself way from the young boy was almost the hardest thing Derek had ever done but he was a stubborn bastard, so he forced his body to move.

“Derek?” Stiles almost whispered, voice hoarse with an emotion Derek could easily read if he wanted to but no, he wasn’t going to.

 _Home_.

Being this close to Stiles was like coming _home_ , calming his inner wolf and making him go downright docile…and if Derek had been the self reflecting type, he might’ve recognized the emotion currently controlling his actions: fear.

And since he couldn’t possibly be scared of a tiny human like Stiles, he shoved the notion so far down into the recesses of his mind that it was as if it had never happened at all.

He was already running, joining the others again when he could hear Stiles yelling his name again.

No, nothing had happened, nothing at all. There was a reason after all why everyone said the crazies came out during the full moon: luna…lunatic…moon-crazy…he’d just chuck up the whole event to a momentarily lapse of judgment and leave it at that.

##

It was a good thing, the Sheriff had the night shift because Derek would’ve probably had a hard time explaining why he and Stiles were slinking back into the house at the crack of dawn. He’d probably get away with it since he was an adult but he was pretty certain Stiles’ father would have had a few choice words for him if he caught Stiles doing it.

“I’ll just have a shower,” Stiles commented while he started to head toward the bathroom.

Derek’s only answer was to grunt. The full moon always took a toll on him so he simply removed his shoes, toed off his socks before falling onto the mattress on the floor.

He honestly wasn’t going to evaluate the fact he was sound asleep by the time Stiles returned.

##

He woke up to a tickle in his nose and to avoid sneezing, he shoved his face into the pillow, moving left and right and voila, the itch was gone. He opened one eye before rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Stiles was still asleep since his breathing was even so when he got up, he moved quietly so he wouldn’t wake the teen. He might not be a man of many words but his mother had managed to instil some manners into him and while he might be rusty on being _polite_ , there were a few basics he would probably never forget.

After a quick shower, he wrapped himself up in a towel before grabbing his dirty clothes and walking back to the room.

By the time he returned, Stiles was awake, watching him as he entered and as he discarded his clothes onto the floor.

“You know,” Stiles said carefully. Derek was only listening with half an ear because no one could pay attention to the teen all the time. It would constitute information overflow and probably fry his brain. “You’re going to have to do your own laundry because just dumping them onto the floor, isn’t going to magically clean them.”

Derek turned his head, raising an eye brow at Stiles before dropping the towel and grabbing fresh underwear.

Why there was a startled gasp in the room, he couldn’t fathom because it wasn’t as if Stiles didn’t know what a male ass looked like.

The rapidly beating heart had him slightly worried the teen might be having a heart attack of sorts, so he quickly covered himself, throwing on a dark shirt as well before turning around.

“You alright?” he asked while Stile nodded, momentarily stunned speechless. _Interesting…_

Derek narrowed his eyes, sniffing the air to gauge what was going on. As a rule, he tried not to intrude on other people’s private moments by ignoring his senses because some things were meant to be private and just because he had an advantage over humans, didn’t mean he had to take make shameless use of it.

But if there was something wrong with Stiles then he should know about it so he sniffed the air, nearly chocking when he recognized the unique scent of arousal. 

Deciding to give the teen some space, since waking up with morning wood wasn’t something only teenagers did, he turned around again, grabbing the rest of his clothing.

He could hear Stiles moving about behind him, dressing too but he was in for yet another shock of his life when, almost too casually, Stiles started talking to him.

Maybe the unusual silence should’ve clued him in that the guy was working his way up to something.

“When your eyes change red, do you also see everything as red?”

And in his usual style, Stiles didn’t waste any time before he continued, “And what about when your eyes shone blue…did you see the world tinted in blue then too? And Scott? Does he see everything in yellow?”

Derek blinked.

“No,” he said. “It’s kind of always the same. Tunnel vision, focusing on your prey…”

“What’s it like kissing a girl…or a boy?”

“What?”

Derek, despite facing the teen, nearly gave himself a mental whiplash at how quickly the topic had changed. Deciding he must’ve heard wrong, he stayed silent. Maybe he should leave? He’d never had this kind of problem when he’d been at the Hale house…but now…

“Derek?” Stiles prodded again. “Tell me…what’s it like?”

He must’ve heard right after all. “Err…” Derek so eloquently said and no, he wasn’t blushing. “Shouldn’t you be talking about these things with your father?”

“Bah,” Stiles answered. “Do you have any idea how awkward this would be?”

 _And this isn’t?_ Derek wanted to ask but before he could, Stiles ploughed on. “And since I’m pack, you said so…” the teen said almost forcefully, “isn’t it kind your duty to teach me about these things?”

Derek gaped, mouth slack because he was pretty certain no other Alpha in existence ever had been faced with having this kind of talk with one of the pack members. Sadly though, Stiles was right. He _was_ pack. And he was asking for help.

“Em…” he hedged, trying to buy himself some time, his mind feverishly looking for an out. Trapped in a corner, he did the only thing he could think of. He moved back to the mattress, sat down on it as far away from Stiles as he could possibly manage and then gestured for the teen to continue talking.

“Great!” Stiles beamed, bouncing on the bed, moving closer and only his excellent control had Derek staying in place when Stiles closed the distance, sitting down in front of him. “There’s only so much you can learn online, you know?” he said in a chatty tone which was the most terrifying thing Derek had heard in a while. “And Scott’s not a big help. He just blushes and starts stuttering and let’s face it, you probably have a lot more experience than he does so it makes kind of sense for me to talk to you…and Dad…well, apart from it being embarrassing, he’s also older and since Mum…well,” Stiles floundered for a bit before he continued exuberantly. “I’m pretty sure he’s out of date on how things are done. We’re almost the same age…”

“No, we’re not,” Derek forced in. “I’m an adult and you’re not.”

“Bah,” Stiles waved his counter argument away. “Five years from now, our age different will be nothing but blip on the radar.”

It was painful to hear the same thoughts come out of Stiles’ mouth but where he was right…he was right.

“So…” Stiles inched closer. “What’s it like?”

“Pleasant.”

“Pleasant?” Stiles’ voice hitched while his big eyes got rounder. “That’s all you got?”

Derek shrugged. He wasn’t good with emotions and he most certainly didn’t _talk about his feelings_ so what made Stiles think he could adequately name what arousal and lust felt like? And shouldn’t Stiles be familiar with them already? Derek could still vividly recall his time as a teenager and how often he’d spent quality time with his right hand…

“Show me?”

“Huh?” Derek was back to blinking. Maybe Stiles was a changeling or some other supernatural creature sent here to torment him because what other reason could there possibly be for him to be in this situation?


	3. Chapter 3

“Show me,” Stiles repeated, honey brown eyes pleading, rounded into the perfect innocent stare. Derek wasn’t buying it for a minute. Despite the looks, Stiles was the most cunning person he’d ever met which was why he’d managed to stay alive after Peter had kidnapped him. Actually, Derek thought, it was downright odd his uncle hadn’t killed him after Stiles had stopped being useful.

Maybe changing the topic would fix his current problem which wasn’t his slowly growing cock…no, because having Stiles ask him for a kiss definitely wasn’t turning him on.

Maybe Scott wasn’t the only one with a severe case of denial here but Derek was _the Alpha_ , he could do what he wanted…em…right?

“How come my uncle didn’t kill you when he was done with you?”

Stiles blinked. His brain must be equipped for rapid changes because only a mere second passed before he blurred out the answer while shrugging nonchalantly at the same time. “He offered me the bite. I refused.”

“What?”

This time Stiles twitched, leaning backwards because the heat in Derek’s voice must’ve taken him by surprise. All colour bled once more out of the world and he had to resort to digging his nails into the palms of his hands to gain back his control.

 _Mine…mine…_ echoed through his mind. His uncle had no right to offer to the bite to Stiles…no right at all!

“He offered me the bite,” Stiles, the moron, repeated slowly so there could be no chance of miscommunication. Fear still clung to him but apparently self preservation was absent because he started leaning forward again, moving closer when any other self respecting human being would’ve run away. Or at least backed off. “I declined since I didn’t want it from him.”

Derek blinked, tunnel vision still in place.

“Now, can we focus here on what’s really important?” Stiles crooked his head to his side, smiling. “I want to know about kissing…”

Derek gave up. There was no way he could keep up with someone as mentally challenged as Stiles because there was no other way to explain what was happening.

“You’re my Alpha, right?” Stiles continued, sounding like the voice of reason despite spewing out nothing but crazy words. How could anything sound this logical while it was utter madness? “So since I’m part of your pack and I’m having a problem finding someone else to kiss me, I come to you for help, right? This is what you’re supposed to do? Help your pack members?”

“I’m not going to offer a hand job to Jackson just because he’s horny and doesn’t want to do it himself,” Derek found his voice again. He wasn’t going to be defeated by Stiles’ crazy logic. He was the one in charge here. “We’re family, not a brothel.”

Stiles pouted, lower lip protruding outwards.

“Please?”

Puppy eyes really shouldn’t have this effect on him, especially coming from someone who was human and not even a _pup_! But here they were: pale, honey-brown eyes, growing bigger by the second and he could practically feel his objections melting away.

Shaking his head, he reminded himself not to be sweet talked into this. He gasped, when Stiles invaded his space, crawling onto his lap, pressing his lips to his.

“Please?” Stiles whispered, pulling slightly away to say the word before pressing his nose into Derek’s hair.

Derek’s heart was beating rapidly and maybe there was no harm in giving in to Stiles _once_. He’d only asked for a kiss after all. And wouldn’t it really be better if it came from him than from some random stranger in a dark alley? Because with Stiles, anything was possible…

But if they were going to do this, they were going to do it on his terms, so he reached out, grabbing Stiles by the hips and shoving him harder onto his lap. The teen went with a gasp and before he could start ranting or raving about who knows what, Derek raised his hands, grabbing Stiles by the shoulders and manoeuvring his face into a better place. He inhaled, slowly and deeply, Stiles’ unique scent which always resulted in his world spinning out of control so before he could fall over the edge of the cliff, which was approaching rapidly, he closed the distance, pressing his lips onto Stiles’.

At first, the kiss was almost innocent, nothing more than a meeting of lips, quite chaste in its nature but it quickly changed. Who groaned and who moaned, Derek couldn’t say but nipping at the bottom of Stiles’ lips, tasting just a little bit of blood, had his senses soaring to new heights, pressing himself closer to the teen than he’d ever been before. Stiles, for once, was putty under his hands, melting right into him and not putting up any fight at all. If anything, him yielding so completely was even more of a turn on than Derek had anticipated.

Stiles was a fast learner, so when Derek shoved his tongue into teen’s hot mouth, Stiles was right there with him. Where his body seemed to yield, this part of him was up to the challenge and if Derek had thought it was impossible to get any harder, he would’ve been proven wrong right this minute. His dick turned to stone, pressing against the constraints of the fabric and it might be his imagination but there could be a chance of his trousers actually bursting under the strain.

The only reason they ever pulled apart was the need for oxygen. Stiles’ pupils were dilated and Derek was pretty sure, he must look equally debouched. His lips felt swollen and if anyone shooting a porn movie would’ve walked in on them right now, they would’ve probably hired them on the spot because if he only looked half as turned on as Stiles looked, then…

Derek swallowed hard, his eyes settling on Stiles’ throat, watching the Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. The heat of the teen’s body made him sweat and the scent in the air had him nearly loosing control. But it was this combination, this innate fear of him loosing it which allowed him to pull back, bringing the world back into focus.

His claws retracted and he hadn’t even noticed them coming out! He could’ve seriously hurt the boy!

Shoving Stiles off him was probably not the nice thing to do but when Stiles tried to speak, Derek growled, low and deep, and for once Stiles decided to heed the warning. He stayed put and mute, allowing Derek to stalk out off the room.

This wasn’t retreating; he wasn’t running away. He was simply allowing Stiles to find his sanity again because this? This wasn’t happening ever again.

Regardless of how good and of how right it might’ve felt.

He was the Alpha, leader of their pack and he wasn’t going to be the one who was going to take Stiles virginity. The similarities between what had happened to him and the current situation were too much. He just couldn’t…he couldn’t…his thoughts tapered off and he continued to run and he didn’t stop when he reached the edge of the forest, loosing himself among the trees until nothing but pure wolf remained.

Sometimes there was clarity to be found in allowing his animal side to take control. Sometimes…but not always.

##

“You’re something of a free spirit, aren’t you?”

Derek stopped in his tracks. What was it about the Stilinski’s which always seemed to find him off guard? Was this a family trait? Some sort of curse between the Hales and them? He refused to consider it was simply _him_ …

“Errr…” Derek uttered his favourite new word.

“You’ve got some…” The Sheriff made a vague notion with his hand and with dread Derek raised his hand, plucking a leaf from his hair. Sighing, he realized this couldn’t get any better. After all, he’d just been caught sneaking back into the house after going for a cathartic run in the woods clad in nothing but his jeans and shirt. Couldn’t get any worse, right?

“There you are,” Stiles poked his head into the living room. “We still got a conversation to finish.”

Narrowed, fatherly eyes were trained on Derek before the suspicious stare moved from him towards his son. “Stiles…” the name was uttered like a warning, as if the Sheriff knew his son was up to no good. And the rather too innocent smile on the teen's face clearly confirmed his suspicion.

Derek used his moment, when all the attention in the room was focused on someone else, to quickly make his way up the stairs. He needed another shower but hey, at least now he didn’t have to worry about jumping into cold lake water again. There was something definitely to be said about indoor plumbing.

This time, learning from his earlier mistake, he grabbed fresh clothes on the way to the bathroom. Showering didn’t take long and when he was done, despite Stiles’ words, he still dropped the clothes onto the already existing pile on the floor.

Then, he crooked his head, listening to father and son downstairs before making his way out the window. He needed to see about finding a job, any kind of job really, and being held up by Stiles or by his father wasn’t part of the plan.

He was out the window and on his way in no time at all.

##

Finding a job in a bar had been easier than expected and of a surprise considering he still was kind of a persona non grata in town. Maybe his luck was changing or maybe his new boss wasn’t picky. Either way, he was going to start next month and he figured he had enough money to contribute something to the Stilinksi household in the mean time. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have alternate means of feeding himself if he couldn’t afford _traditional_ food. He’d still have to bring up the subject of rent because he had no interest of staying in the house free of charge. He could pay his own way, thank you very much.

Stiles, of course, was overjoyed but then again, it didn’t take much to get the teen excited.

“We need to celebrate. I’m calling the others…isn’t it great that Dad has the night shift again?”

He was already busy dialling, talking rapidly before Derek could get a word in edgewise but for once, he didn’t mind. He grabbed a newspaper from a discarded pile, placing it on top of the counter, leaning against it. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d read anything so even if it was a little bit out of date, he didn’t mind. He’d been kind of busy the last few months, what with running for his life, worrying about newly turned pups and hunters…

His senses were always attuned to his surroundings but it wasn’t as if he was constantly paying attention to them. It would be impossible to keep a focus on anything, if he’d let himself fall victim to any sound around him. He was aware Stiles was approaching but he chose to ignore him because nothing got Stiles more riled up than being ignored.

And he didn’t have enough funny moments in his life to go easy on the kid. Besides, if Stiles, on some level, didn’t enjoy talking himself into a state, then he wouldn’t be doing it, right?

“You’re not listening to a word, I’m saying…am I right?”

Derek grunted, unmoving. Stiles could take this as an agreement or not. This was an interesting article on forestry and for the first time in a long time, he actively considered going back to school. He had the grades for it. Maybe not the money but he wouldn’t be the first one to put himself through college the hard way. Something to think about.

A soft touch on his bare arm, fingers slowly tracing an invisible line down towards his wrist before staying there, had him shivering, goose bumps breaking out all over his skin. When Stiles’ thumb started to slowly rub up and down his fingers, he tilted his head sideways, staring at the teen.

Stiles simply looked back, a strange look in his eyes. Derek narrowed his eyes, listening to the teen’s heart beat, trying to gauge what he was up to now. The young heart was beating faster than normal but not too fast to be anything to be concerned about. Stiles was a bundle of energy anyways so _normal_ kind of needed to redefined around him at any given moment in time.

The silence was unnerving and for once, it was Derek who caved, breaking it.

“Is there something you want?”

Stiles gave him an enigmatic smile, a little bit too predatory for a mere human but since there wasn’t anything to be worried about, Derek chose to ignore the alarm bells going off inside his head. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to see shadows lurking in every corner, jumping at every sound like a scared cat and no, he wasn’t weak or easily intimidated. He’d come through hell and was stronger for it.

When there was no answer forthcoming, Derek turned his head again, going back to reading. If the human wanted to stand there, pressing his body to Derek’s side as if he were a pup looking for comfort, then he wasn’t going to object. It was kind of nice actually.

There was an interesting graph coming up to do with insects, rain fall and forest damage, so Derek squinted, leaning forward a bit. Stiles moved with him, pressing in even closer until Derek could practically feel the teen’s heart beat vibrating through his own body. His dick twitched but since he was a master in denial and ignoring things, he just proceeded as if nothing was happening at all. Handy talent, right?

“What’s so interesting about bugs?” Stiles asked, his hot breath ghosting over Derek’s exposed neck and before he could reply, Stiles had somehow managed to crawl even more on top of him, burying his nose into the tiny hairs at the back of his neck. Derek could hear and feel him inhaling. Had Stiles spent too much time with the pups? Because sniffing another person wasn’t typical human behaviour. Humans didn’t need to _scent_ someone to become familiar with them.

Tensing, he lost track of what he was reading. Stiles couldn’t possibly be licking his neck, right? The teen wasn’t this forward…Derek craned his neck, bumping into Stiles’ forehead as he twisted and turned until he could actually look at the teen.

Mischievous eyes smiled at him, lips slightly upturned in an almost smile and if this wasn’t the most endearing, puppy-like look he’d seen on anyone, then he wouldn’t be called Derek Hale.

Almost involuntarily he moved forward, inching closer and closer, leaning in for a kiss until the door bust open and Jackson and Lydia strolled in without a care in the world.

Derek moved backwards, away from Stiles who wasn’t fazed at all. If anything, and if his eyes could shoot daggers, the only two remaining pups in his pack might be dead right now.

“Derek, hey!” Jackson greeted him, moving into his space and hugging him. Lydia came next and Derek embraced them both because they clearly needed reassurance from their Alpha. It was hard to explain this kind of behaviour to outsiders but thankfully no one else was around. He could practically see the Sheriff questioning him as to why he was hugging teenagers and he’d rather not have this conversation.

He’d already been called a _free spirit_ this morning and he still wasn’t quite so sure what to make of the comment. Surely, he wasn’t the only person to ever end up with a leaf in his hair and walking bare foot was actually good for the feet. Besides, feeling the dirt under his toes when he ran in the woods kind of allowed him to be closer to nature which was the next best thing to totally shifting and running utterly free. 

Stiles called the pizza place, ordering for all of them because apparently he knew exactly what everyone wanted. They had just settled down when there was a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it,” Stiles shouted from the kitchen, hurrying towards the entrance. When he came back a few seconds later, looking shifty, it was easy to deduce that it wasn’t the pizza delivery man who had knocked.

“There’s someone here to see you,” he said to Derek. Nodding, Derek got up, passing Stiles on his way towards the door.

He raised an eye brow when he noticed Allison standing outside, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, practically telegraphing her nervousness to the entire world.

“Stiles said I should talk to you if it was alright for me to join you guys for tonight…” she said, eyeing him carefully.

Only her nervousness hung in the air, there was no hint of fear and Derek almost smiled, glad she wasn’t afraid of him. Being a hunter's daughter, fully aware of the other side of being a werewolf wasn't only an advantage. It also made going feral a lot more real and he was sure, there was a huge part of her which worried constantly about Scott and if someone of her family might end up deciding to kill after all.

He considered it a bonus that somewhere along the line, she'd stopped looking at him warily and was no longer afraid of him or of he'd become. Not all Alphas were stripped of their sanity like Peter had been and while Derek couldn't agree with his choices, he had to admit he could quite easily relate. He'd been affected badly enough with his sister but he hadn't actually been trapped, watching his whole family alive while nearly dying too. It would wrap anyone's mind, really. It wasn't an excuse for his actions and Peter had done but it was at least an explanation. At least his reason for killing was an understandable one. He was still mystified why Kate had decided to kill not only him but everyone he loved.

Alphas in general not only made other wolves nervous, it also affected ordinary humans. There must be something about power, about strength which triggered hidden instincts in humans. Even Scott could attest to the fact that his life had gotten totally turned up side down by the bite and not all of it was bad. Hadn't he made first line? Hadn't he gotten the girl? Grown in confidence? It might've happened naturally too but having extra strength and abilities had surely helped along. Now, if he could only make the teen see the good things along the bad things...but hey, Scott wasn't his problem any more so he probably should stop worrying about him.

It was just, if Scott did end up crossing a line, who would the Argents come looking for first? Him...right? Even if Scott wasn't officially a member of his pack anymore, they would still be knocking on his door. He couldn't help it; he worried.

“I've got no problem with you hanging out with us,” Derek answered, “As long as it isn't pack business...but don't you think you should discuss this with Scott first?”

Allison looked at him as if he had grown two heads. What had he said?

“You're right,” she slowly said. “I didn't think to consider, he might be the one who wouldn't like me hanging out with you guys.”

Derek shrugged. There was no way this was going to end well but he wasn't going to forbid her to be with her friends just because Scott had taken up permanent residence in denial land.

“I'll be...” she made a strange motion with her hand which Derek too to mean she was going to go. He gave a brief nod before heading back inside, joining the others in fighting over what movie to pick.

Since he was in charge, he put down some ground rules and decided he was the one to pick. This time around, he wasn't going to fall alseep.

##

The pizza had just been devoured when there was yet another knock on the door. Stiles was the one again to answer and apparently Derek was in high demand today because it was for him.

“Should we pause?” Jackson asked mid-chew.

“No, don't bother,” Derek waved him off.

When he ducked passed Stiles, heading outside, he expected to see only Allison but instead, he found her and Scott waiting for him.

“I'll be inside,” she said before rushing passed him.

Not a man of many words, Derek let the door close behind her, leaning against it, folding his arms across his chest. If Scott wanted to say something to him, he would have to start.

The teen paced, stopping to stare at him only to start pacing again. Derek waited him out, he was in particular hurry. He could even still follow the movie on inside if he listened carefully. He could do this all day...

A shift in the air had him breaking his concentration, lifting his head sky high, sniffing. Many emotions had a distinctive _flavour_ to them but it usually required a person...this...this was new.

The tiny hairs at the back of his neck stood upright as if someone had just run an electric shock through him and every muscle on his body tenses simultaneously. A low growl was forming inside his throat and his eyes were starting to change colour...danger...someone... _something_ was out there and whoever he, she or it was, it's presence wasn't a friendly one.

Despite being a werewolf, Derek put no stock into claims of people _having a bad vibe_ or just _a bad feeling_ but maybe this day would see him convert because something definitely had his inner wolf riled up.

“Why did you lie to me?”

“Huh?” Derek blinked, startled out his thoughts, drawn back to there and now and just like the feeling had overcome him, it went away as if nothing had been amiss at all.

“You told me, if I kill the Alpha, I would turn human again...” Scott clarified.

Derek tilted his head just so, eyes narrowing. “I never said that. I said, I had heard rumours but I didn't know for sure...”

“Still, you implied...” Scott accused.

Derek shrugged.

“And then you went and killed himself yourself so you'd get all the power...”

Derek stared. “Is this what you really think?” He asked, pushing off the door and slowly stalking towards Scott. For a moment, it appeared as if the young werewolf was about to take a step back but then he tilted his chin upwards, staring him down. A part of Derek was impressed while another part of him wanted to push him down and force him into submission.

“Yes?”

“Scott,” Derek said, voice tripping with sarcasm. “Think about what you've just said.”

“Eh?”

Derek gave him a long look, hoping for the teen to connect the dots but no, Scott wasn't he brightest tool in the shed and he was now living up to his reputation. He sighed, raising a hand to rub at his chin before he decided to put the pup out of his misery and answer for him. “You just said, I killed Peter for power...so what do you think would've happened if you killed him?”

“I would be human!” Scott screamed.

Derek stared some more, waiting...waiting and apparently he needed to actually spell everything out. “Killing an Alpha means you're worthy of the title, of the power, so if you had killed him...”

“I would be human...?” Scott tried again, somewhat weaker.

Derek gave him a long look.

“I would be the...the...Alpha?” Scott stuttered.

“How do you think this would've gone done?” Derek asked. “You're barely managing control now. If you'd delivered the killing blow and gained Peter's powers...”

“I would be dead...my friends...my family...”

“Yes...” Derek didn't like to brag but there was a reason why Alpha's tended to be wolves who were born to it. Maybe it honestly was done to genetics and how if you were born with a certain ability, you learned early on how to control it.

“You still lied!” Scott cried again, face heating up in anger. “You told me, there was a chance I could turn human...you lied!”

Derek closed the distance between them and as he walked passed him, he bumped into Scott's shoulder, sending Scott stumbling backwards. His good mood was gone, his control was slowly slipping because Scott always managed to enrage him so many levels, he should actually come with a warning label: dangerous, requires extensive anger management lessons.

“Derek!” Scott was shouting now as Derek stepped off the pavement, pausing in between the parked cars. Slowly, he turned around, facing the teen once more.

“I didn't lie,” he clarified, because the point needed to be made. He would've lied to get the teen's cooperation but as it stood, he wouldn't have lied about something this important. Well, he admitted, he might've but he hadn't. “There is a rumour that for someone who got changed with a bite, killing the one who delivered it would make you8 human...”

“But...” Scott was all confused now and Derek could feel his anger slowly melting away since the formerly so enraged teen seemed more like a drowned puppy now.

“The fact though is,” Derek continued, “that I had no proof. What I did know was that if I killed Peter, I would become Alpha. I couldn't take the chance, the power would go to you.”

“Don't lie to me,” Scott narrowed his eyes. “Even if I believe you and I'm not saying I do, you also wanted him dead for killing your sister...you wanted revenge.”

Derek held his gaze, lifting only one eye brow. “Do you honestly need me to confirm this? What would you've done if your mother or Allison had gotten killed and you had a chance to make it right?”

Scott had no answer to give and his silence was answer enough.

Derek swallowed hard, sweat slowly breaking out all over his body because he wasn't in the habit of apologizing and while he hadn't technically lied, he also hadn't been completely truthful. Scott at least deserved to have him acknowledge this much. “I'm sorry,” he forced out through gritted teeth. Why were those words so hard to utter? “I didn't lie but I also didn't give you all the facts...”

Scott stared at him as if he was a foreign animal about to pounce. Then his lips slowly turned upwards and the ghost of a smile fluttered across his face. He took a step towards Derek when the feeling of danger washed over him again.

Derek slowly turned his head, looking behind him, looking left and right, letting go of any control he might've had over his senses, sending out like sentries, searching for what ever it was which was putting on alert.

Unease filtered through his being and it was a credit too how tense he was because Scott stopped in his tracks, crouching slightly. “What's wrong?” he asked, voice lowered, not yet whispering but also no longer speaking on normal levels.

“I don't know,” Derek said equally carefully, still scanning the area. Unlike before, this time the feeling didn't seem to subside. If anything, it grew until it almost swallowed him whole. “Let's get inside,” he said right at the same time as a shot rang out through the otherwise silent street.

He was moving, long before he was aware of it, pushing Scott out of harms way and putting himself right in the path of the oncoming bullet. They tumbled, Derek jerking wildly as the small, yet oh-so-deadly device entered his body. Pains hot through him like sirens going off all at once, sending his wolf side into a frenzy. He was shifting, letting loose but before he could take any action, yet another shot rang out.

This one was different. Less loud, less like a bullet and more like...like...the words wouldn't come and with the second impact, Derek finally slumped to the ground.

Screeching tires could be heard; car doors were opening, shouts were ringing out but all Derek was no longer a part of this world. His awareness was slowly slipping and wasn't this odd? A bullet would normally only hurt, weaken him momentarily but it wouldn't cause him to go limp, to nearly pass out unless...unless, the second shot hadn't been a standard bullet after all but something geared to his special physiology...something to incapacitate a werewolf.

“Run,” he managed to say. In his mind, he was shouting, urging Scott to head into the house but when the single word left his lips, it was barely above a whisper.

Scott though wasn't moving. He could hear his former charge barring his teeth, staying beside him, trying to protect him even though he was no longer pack. The pup had no sense, no sense of self preservation at all.

The whole event didn't take longer than mere minutes which was why the rest of his pack was still safe, still trying to figure out what was going on and not rushing outside and into more danger.

He needed to do something though. He couldn't stand on the ground, he couldn't let this drug, whatever it was, whatever was currently coursing through his system knock him out because if it did, then not only Scott but the rest of his family would be lost. He fought, grabbing a hold of any hidden pockets of strengths he could find but everything was in vain when yet another shot rang out.

Scott yelped, slumping down next to him. Derek's fingers twitched, the need to rip, to tear the humans apart nearly overwhelming but despite seeing red, despite loosing control, his body was no longer his command.

Even less so when he felt the tiny prick of a needle inserted into his neck, emptying yet more of the unknown substance into his defenceless body. This time, the effects were staggering, nearly knocking him out straight away. But he was still semi-conscious when he was picked up, dragged across the concrete and then tossed into a van like a sack of potatoes.

The doors closed, blocking out all the light and in some sort of strange poetic notion, it was then that the lights also went out inside his head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are still caught up in the angsty part of the story but at least we're done with this bit for now. If you know about me and what stories I usually tend to write, then you will know, I always tend to have a hefty does of angest mingled with hurt/comfort in there but hey, never fear, I only do happy endings!

“Derek...Derek, wake up...”

Derek's mind was slowly re-staring as if someone had pulled the plug and now, every single cell had to start coming back online from scratch. Breathing hurt, his bones were aching and even though he could hear Scott calling out to him, it was still currently beyond him to actually muster a responds.

“You've got to wake up,” Scott continued to plead. “I'm not strong enough to bust through the door. There's no window in here. I can barely see...” Scott's voice trailed off before he continued. “I tried to break down the door but the thing is sturdier than it looks! Wake up, Derek, just wake up...” There might've been a little sob accompanying the last sentence but Derek couldn't be sure.

Trying to shift, to give the young pup some reassurance that he was listening, was still beyond him even though he tried.

“Get away from him!” Scott was shouting now, new sounds assaulting Derek's ears and for the first time, he managed to open his eyes. Nothing stared right back at him. Blinking, he tried again, just in time to see two goons grabbing him, roughly pulling him onto this feet.

“Derek!” Scott screamed again and from the sounds coming from behind him, the teen was putting up a good fight.

“Chain him to the wall. He might still turn out to be useful.” Someone gave the order, chilling Derek to the bone. What would happen if they had no more use for Scott? He couldn't let this happen and he hoped the teen wasn't going to do anything stupid to get himself killed before Derek could regain his senses, regain his control and chew on some humans who clearly had it coming.

Derek liked to think he wasn't a violent guy. Sure, being a werewolf came with aggression issues and he might have more than most but he didn't relish in inflicting pain and normally, he didn't enjoy beating someone to a pulp. But how did the saying go? _Exceptions proved the rule?_ Well, he was clearly looking forward to tearing limbs off of some people and the sooner he got over whatever was currently incapacitating him, the sooner the feast could start!

He must've lost conciousness again because the next time he became aware, he was roughly pushed onto a stretcher, the kind they used in hospitals when they had too many patients and too little beds.

Someone grabbed his arm, holding him down and for a moment, he managed to regain control, lashing out and squarely hitting someone in the face. His ears were ringing seconds later when a rather nasty hit to the head had him seeing stars. Then he was strapped down, his wrists and ankles securely tied up.

“Should I dose him now before he gets back any more control? He could easily break through the straps...” another male voice asked from further in the room.

“Maybe a sedative would be a good place to start...” someone a lot close suggested.

Derek growled, renewing his struggles because if they injected him with the same thing as before, he would be out like a light and then, he would be defenceless. Even more important, there wouldn't be anything he would be able to do about Scott!

“Just a small one, I don't want him to pass out again...” was added to the previous statement a few seconds later.

Derek allowed himself a moment where he gathered his strength, hoping it would be enough to break free, to give himself and Scott a chance while knowing his chances were basically slim to none. Still, if _giving up_ were in his vocabulary, he wouldn't died a long time ago...

Balling his fingers into tight fists, he yanked with all his strength, managing to get one arm free. His eyes snapped open and he twisted and turned until he was able to lift himself off the bed, reaching out for the guy who was closest to him, aiming for his throat. His nails elongated but he got barely close enough for a scratch when a needle was forcefully jabbed into his still tied down arm.

He screamed, a howl full full of rage and fear filling the room, but he was no match for the two men when they pushed him down again, strapping him back in. His tiny victory soothed a part of him because he'd shown them that even tied down, even drugged to the gills, he was still someone to be wary off but his after glow didn't last long.

He didn't even realize he'd closed his eyes until a hand touched his chin, forcing his head around. His eyes snapped open, staring right up at the man who was probably responsible for his current predicament.

“She was right,” the guy said casually, looking him up and down. “You do have pretty eyes...”

Derek blinked. He wasn't sure what he had expected but this statement hadn't even been on his list of possible things which could be said to him.

“No wonder she was so obsessed with you,” he continued. Derek noted how his silvery grey hair had been neatly slicked back and how his dark brown eyes held compassion and sorrow. Considering his current predicament, the emotion in the man's eyes made no sense. Then again, it didn't have to make sense to him, just to the guy who'd abducted him and Scott. “She was always talking about you. I don't think a day passed by without you being in her thoughts...” Here the man's voice trailed off, staring thoughtfully into Derek's eyes.

Derek had the misfortune of seeing lots of things in his still relative short life but he could honestly say, he'd never been this spooked by someone before. There was something not quite right in the man's eyes and he didn't know what was worse: having to deal with someone who wanted to kill him for who he was or having to deal with someone who had lost any sort of grip on sanity. And he wasn't any closer yet to figuring out what was going on! Who was the woman the guy kept referring to?

As if he'd heard Derek's silent plea for some answers, the next sentence cleared up quite a few things. Unfortunately...

“Kate wanted this for you. It was to be a gift...”

 _Kate_...Derek went cold. Chills ran up and down his spine because it was only fitting that the madwoman who'd managed to destroy his life would find a way to extract revenge for her death from her grave. Crazy she might've been but she'd also been one resourceful bitch.

“My son was fine at first,” the man continued talking in a tone of voice which was more suited to a pleasant chat in a coffee shop than to the current setting but apparently, it didn't matter. “But the bite eventually ripped away his sanity...he couldn't control himself and he died...I had to put him down like the dog he was...” Here, the man's voice dropped for a bit, grief and guilt readily mixing and for a brief moment, Derek felt sympathy for him because it couldn't have been easy to kill his own son. But had he really been a danger? Many wolves had a hard time controlling themselves around the full moon but even those who did loose control, not all of them turned into raging, heartless monsters who hunted down humans for the sake of sport. It did happened, this was why hunters like the Argents were around but usually, those wolves would be taken care off by the pack before they actually became a danger.

There was no way for Derek to know if the guy's son had deserved to be killed or if the man had killed someone who could've been saved. And did it really matter? Derek's abductor had killed his own son because he couldn't handle being a werewolf and somehow this madness had led him onto a path which had brought him right to Kate.

What kind of crazy could two mad people come up with? If Derek had it still within him, he might've shuddered right now in fear. But fear wasn't an emotion he liked to give credit to because _fear_ paralysed and made you weak, so Derek focused on anger, on planning out exactly what he'd liked to do with the guy once he got out of here. And he was going to get free. He was! He had to believe in it because without hope, there was no point to fight the dark cloud slowly descending over him, threatening to drag him under. No, he needed hope because without it...well, this wasn't something he wanted to contemplate, not even for a second.

“Unfortunately, the serum wasn't ready yet when my son died. He could've had a few more months, maybe even a few more years before the curse got the better off him...”

 _Serum?_ Derek didn't like the sound of that, no, he didn't like it one bit. He didn't need to be as well versed in _geek_ as Stiles was to know that any talk about _serum_ never ended well. Especially not for the guy currently strap down like a guinea pig...

“You see...” here the guy leaned in closer and Derek reeled back, or at least he would've, if his head had been able to go anywhere, if the mattress he was currently lying on, didn't prohibit him from moving away. “Lycanthropy is like a disease. It enters your healthy body and then twists and turns it, altering your make up to suit its needs. But with the good doctor here,” there was a flick of the head, pointing towards the other man in the room but Derek refused to look away, afraid something might happen if he broke eye contact. “We were able to come up with an antidote...” here the crazy man chuckled and if Derek had thought he'd heard frightening sounds before, this tiny sound of amusement had all the hairs on his body standing up right. “We can now suppress the wolf, make it go quiet, at least for a while...the downside though is that any subject we've tested it on so far, developed a dependency on the drug and eventually, a resistance. And when the resistance won out, when the wolf came back, it came back with so much force...well, there was no humanity left afterwards...but you see, for a little while, those poor souls were able to live like humans...”

And had those people volunteered for these experiments or had they been strapped down like Derek was? Scott would've probably eagerly participated but Derek was sure, these guys hadn't bothered to ask. Especially not when Kate Argent had been involved. With her connections, she would've easily been able to identify werewolves, point them out and make them easy targets. He shuddered to think how many of his kind had ended up in secret labs, forced to give up who they were thanks to a madman. And this idea was crazy. Being a werewolf wasn't a curse. It might not be a gift, not to everyone at least, but it wasn't a death sentence. Even newly turned managed to learn control eventually and those few who didn't, well, not every species was perfect. You didn't need to be a werewolf in order to go on a killing spree. Ordinary humans managed those things quite well on their own too!

A hand softly padded him on the cheek. Derek tried to turn his head away but the soft fingers quickly grabbed him, digging into the underside of his face, holding him in place. The growl forming deep in his throat never got heard but it rumbled through him, vibrating through his body until it dissipated into nothing but air.

“She did this for you,” the still nameless stranger continued, now smiling softly at Derek. “Kate wanted to free you from your curse. She killed everyone who could hold you back, trying to make you see but you never did...did you?”

Derek could do nothing more but stare. He'd always wondered why Kate had gone off and killed his entire family and he'd never shied away from his responsibility because if he hadn't given her all the information she needed, then everyone would still be safe...but learning she'd literally killed them for him? No, he mentally shook himself. It couldn't be true.

“Have you never asked yourself why she killed so many of your kind and yet, she never came after you?”

 _She did hit me with a bullet which nearly killed me_ Derek quietly supplied but then again, she hadn't known it had been him in the dark, now had she? And when she'd come after Scott and him, when both Allison and her had shot at them with arrows, she'd hit him with a bullet, incapacitating him but hadn't she turned around, urging Allison to provide the killing blow to Scott instead? It would've been so easy for her to kill him right there, while he'd been defenceless on the ground and yet, she'd turned to the pup and to her niece.

But was this enough to support the crazy tale this guy was spinning? Kate might've just as well wanted to kill Scott first and then take her time dissecting him.

It was true though, when the fire killed his family, she'd known he wasn't home. And if she'd wanted all the Hales dead, in the aftermath of the horrible tragedy, it would've been easy for her to pick him off and finish him for good. And yet, she hadn't.

But he refused to believe it had been because on some twisted level, she'd been madly in love with him...she'd been crazy but she'd still been rational...to some degree at least...no...she couldn't have _loved_ him...but...

“She made me promise to help you, to give you a chance to see what life without the curse was like so this is me honouring her last wish...”

It was more likely she'd spent her days searching for ways to torment him and what better way was there than for him to be strapped down, defenceless and about to loose who he was? She'd always been a manipulative bitch...who's to say, she wasn't just pushing the right buttons to get this guy to come up with a truly horrific torture method for werewolves, all in the name of doing good? 

“You were all she ever thought about...” the guy concluded his little speech with a dreamy look on his face. Derek doubted Kate had ever had any fond thoughts for him. He'd been nothing but a tool, a young boy easily seduced and played with and then tossed aside and just because this guy here had given into some stupid, romantic notion...well...Derek paused, thinking things over. He might not be wrong after all. He'd probably been on Kate's mind for a very long time simply because she'd dreamt of seeing him dead...

If he managed to get out of this alive, he was going to stay away from love because there was clearly something very wrong with him for having attracted such a lunatic. 

“Don't do this,” Derek managed to force out, hating himself for being reduced to begging but he couldn't believe they were going to force this horrible serum onto him.

“You'll thank us later,” he received a pat to the head, as if he were a good dog and then, the sharp prick on his upper arm indicated the serum entering his blood stream.

He tensed up immediately, every muscle in his body alert, getting ready to fight and even the previously injected sedative couldn't possible stop the flood of epic panic which was currently running through his body, taking over his very soul. Fingers balled yet again into tight fists, back taunt, arching off the mattress...and for a few precious moments, nothing happened.

Then, the world dulled. There was no other word to describe the effect around him. Even with all the drugs currently roaming freely in his system, his senses had still been sharp, his hearing still excellent and his vision had been pristine and clear. Then, as if a veil had been pulled over everything, the colour bled out of the world until nothing but muted shades remained.

If it had only been sound or vision, Derek could've probably learnt to cope but it didn't stop there. A hole opened up inside him, breaking him apart from the inside out, swallowing everything he was until nothing but raw pain was left. The first spasm wrecked his body, having him arch off the bed, muscles straining until there was a very good chance, he might actually snap himself in half.

A scream tore free from his lungs, echoing through the otherwise silent room, bouncing off the walls and vibrating through him again, searching for its companions. Pain, like shock waves, rode his body, reducing his very being down to basics.

“What's happening?”

Voices...all around him...he could hear them talking, shouting, cursing, hands were grabbing him, trying to push him back down but nothing, nothing at all made sense apart from the pain currently running through him.

Then, as if the hole inside him had suddenly turned all encompassing, the pain vanished as if it had never been. Its startling absence was mind numbing, a very different kind of horror in its own.

“I don't know...” the scientist mumbled, sounding harried.

Derek's face was grabbed. Then he was slapped, his eyes forced open. “When did you receive the bite?” he was asked and then the guy explained to the silver haired man who'd done all the taking before. “He met Kate when he was very young, maybe the reason why the serum isn't working right is because he'd been exposed for too long?”

“Was born with it,” Derek mumbled, eyes slowly falling shut again so he missed the startled expressions on both the men's faces.

“What?”

“Born a wolf,” Derek repeated before he sank back down into blissful pain, slowly gearing up again like it had before. Better than being numb, better than not being able to feel his wolf, gnawing at his insides.

“It won't work...”

“What?”

“You can't take the curse away if it was always a part of your genetic make up,” the scientist quickly explained. “With the bite, the exposure came later...the lycanthropy was forced upon an innocent but if Derek was born with it, then he can't be parted from it...”

“What's going to happen then?”

“When it has run its course,” the other guy answered gravely, panic slowly not only taking over his voice but vibrating through time and space like some sort of siren going off. “There'll be no stopping the wolf...”

“How is this any different from before?”

“We're talking a matter of hours here, not months or a year...”

The wolf inside him was absent. Its missing presence leaving nothing but a gawking hole, threatening to swallow everything Derek was and yet, he could already feel the dark menace of the Alpha's power clawing its way back. Nothing was going to keep it down for long; it was going to come back and when it did, so help anyone who would stand in its path.

##

How Derek got free, he didn't know. One moment he was still drifting off, caught up inside the prison of his mind and the next, his arms were free. Launching himself upwards, he grabbed the nearest person by the neck, squeezing hard before flinging the man into the wall. The weak hard beat told him the scientist was still alive but probably not for long.

Derek quickly undid the straps on his feet, jumping off the stretcher. His knees nearly gave out and he needed a moment to steady himself before he let go. He'd only managed to take a few steps before he stumbled, crashing into a cart. Science equipment scattered but it wasn't the syringes or the breaking glass which caught his attention. It was the gun which landed with a loud clack on the tiled floor.

Swiftly he grabbed it, shaking like a leaf as his fingers lifted it off the ground, staring at it for a moment before he quickly checked if it was unsecured, if it was loaded. His hands were steady when he lifted it, raising it until he could place the muzzle against his temple.

He'd be dammed before he let the madness take him over. He'd rather be dead, he'd rather take his own life than let the power of the Alpha run free, run unchecked. He could already feel its clawing strength returning, the gaping hole inside of him was getting smaller and smaller, closing up and with every passing second, he was loosing what little bit of humanity he had left. Peter had been insane enough in his madness, killing without remorse but despite all he'd become, he had still been, in essence, a human being. If you stripped away any sort of control over the wolf, especially an Alpha werewolf, you were left with nothing but a mindless killing machine: vicious and out for blood and no, Derek wasn't going to be responsible for unleashing such a monstrosity onto the world.

While the rest of his body was shaking, his hand was surprisingly steady since there was not a single shred of doubt on his mind: this was the right thing to do. This was the _only_ thing to do. He'd never, not once, contemplated taking his own life but these were extenuating circumstances and what other choice was there?

A loud shot rang through the air, hurting his ears and he flinched, nearly dropping the gun when there was another one, rattling by close enough that Derek thought he could practically feel the bullet whizzing passed him.

“Put the gun down, Derek,” Argent's voice he would've recognized everywhere and still, what was the hunter doing here?

Despite the pain in his body, the conflict in his mind, Derek still managed to focus his eyes, finding Argent standing before him, his gun lowered, trying to present a non threatening image. There was a body on the ground next to him and Derek easily recognized the silver haired man who'd so kindly shared his crazy tales with him before.

“You don't need to do this,” Argent urged, voice as calm as human possibly.

Derek squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to let any tears fall freely because he was strong, he was _the Alpah_ and he wasn't going to show any weakness, especially not in front of a hunter.

The sedative must've worn off, Derek realized on some level because how else would he've been able to get off the stretcher, walk and even stand up right while holding a gun to his own head?

“I do,” His voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't used it in years or screamed his heart out. “They gave me something,” his voice was slightly slurring now and it was getting harder and harder to focus as the rage slowly started to bleed into his vision. The wolf was waking up, he was running out of time...

“I heard,” Argent slowly said, hands still at his side. “But your pack needs you. What will happen to those newly turned kids if you're not around to help them? Who will take them in? Do you really want to risk another Alpha scooping them up? What if he turns out to be as bad your uncle was? And what if Scott looses control or one of the other kids do? Do you think, I will ever be able to face my daughter again if I need to put down her boyfriend?”

“Derek, no!” Scott's shout came out of nowhere and before even Argent could react, the young pup had flung himself across the room, his body impacting with Derek. The gun went off but the shot went wide, only gracing Derek's temple before they crashed onto the ground. 

Derek lost his grip on the gun while Scott was trying his best to hug him to death, pinning him to the ground while harried steps signalled Argent moving around the room.

“I'm sorry but you need to calm down...” he said as he came into few, holding out yet another syringe. Derek was getting very tired of these things but one look at Scott's pleading face had him going limp, allowing Argent to inject the sedative into his system.

He sighed deeply, kind of as if his last breath was leaving his lungs before he succumbed to darkness once more. The wolf inside of him was clawing its way back from the edge of his sanity and he was slowly, and steadily, gaining ground, taking over.

Would he still be himself when he woke up? 

“You won't kill anyone, I promise...” Argent's parting words were soothing and it was to those words, Derek finally relaxed, falling into a drug induced sleep.

Who knew what the waking world would bring once he was ready to face it again...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I am posting a day late but I've got the edits back from my publisher so I was a bit distracted! But here is the next part. We're starting to near the end so I am thinking there migth be 1 or maybe 2 more chapters to come unless the plot bunny goes mental (it's been known to happen).
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely feedback! It really means a lot to me! If I could give *kudos* to all of you, I would! :)

Heat…unimaginable heat…it was _everywhere_ , blanketing him, tearing him down and spitting him back up at the same time. It was a never changing cycle, meant to inflict as much harm as possible. 

Had he been left somewhere out in the wilds where the earth was scorched and the sun shone all day and night, never letting up, baking everything in its sight? His body couldn’t have turned against him; this had to be due to an outside influence…

The icy breeze washing over him had his bones chilling, nearly breaking them with the sudden shift in temperature.

The world was shaking, shaking and moving, as if it was breaking apart from its core, shattering him…shattering everything in its path.

Voices, around him, surrounding him, but none of the spoken words made any sense. They washed over him, drawing him in with their ups and downs, the intonation of the spoken language grading on his already blank lying nerves.

“Is he going to make it?” Scott’s worried voice he almost recognized but only… _almost_.

“The fever is very high,” came from an adult male, familiar …friendly and yet not… Argent?

“Where is he?” a bounce of energy, bright, sparkly and almost too much to bear, floundered into the room, momentarily stilling the shakes before his shred of awareness slipped from his grasp once more. 

“We need to wait…” Argent continued, the all too familiar sound of the safety taken off a gun echoing through the room.

“You’re not going to shoot him, are you?” Stiles asked, a quiver in his voice.

“Not planning on it,” came the answer. “Unless he leaves me no choice. He would want me to then anyway…”

“How can you say that?” It was Lydia who cried out the last question, disbelieve coating her voice.

“Because I found him with a gun pressed to his head, about to take his own life.” Argent answered calmly. “He’d want me to end his life if he looses control. Trust me on this.”

Shocked silence reigned but no one spoke out differently since Argent was right.

“Is he going to…wolf out then?” Jackson asked, voice strained, always trying to be the tough guy when he wasn’t fooling anyone any more.

“His body’s fighting it,” Argent answered. “What they gave him, it wasn’t meant for someone who was born a wolf. Right now, his wolf is clawing its way back to the surface while his body and his mind is fighting for control…the fever is only one sign of the struggle going on…if he looses it…” Argent’s voice trailed off but no one in the room needed him to complete the sentence. Everyone could imagine very well what would happen if Derek lost. He would gone, erased, as if he had never been.

The bed dipped and then Derek could feel someone slowly crawling up towards him.

“Stiles!” startled cries echoed through the room. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Wolves take comfort from being close to each other, right?” And when no one answered, the teen continued. “It might help him if he could feel his pack nearby…”

“This is dangerous, Stiles,” Argent pointed out. “He’d go right through you if he…”

“He won’t,” Lydia spoke again, voice full of confidence. “He won’t loose control. It isn’t in his nature.”

The bed dipped some more, squeaking under the sudden increase in pressure but despite all the other familiar scents drifting through to him, the only one Derek really noticed was Stiles. His nostrils flared. A spark was ignited deep inside him, a spark which had almost been extinguished before, causing it to flare to life again, responding to a familiar call even if he still didn’t comprehend what it all meant.

“No, Allison,” Argent spoke again, voice forceful this time. “Not you…”

“But, Dad,” She protested but her father stayed firm. “I won’t allow it. I can’t…”

“But I’m part of his pack…” Allison protested, the hunter-in-training not wanting to back down from something she thought to be important. “He said so…”

“Please,” Argent pleaded and it was probably this unfamiliar tone which had his daughter relenting since the bed didn’t dip again and Derek could hear slow, measured footsteps walking away.

The shakes didn’t stop, neither did the heat nor the sudden cold flashes but scenting Stiles nearby, being able to press his nose into the crook of the boy’s neck, inhaling his sweet scent, it calmed him down, like a soothing lotion being spread of sunburn.

It was a start, a promising one. His wolf was still clawing its way out of the darkness, snarling and demanding vengeance but the dark, all consuming emotions were tempered now. Not yet soothed, not yet under control but no longer raging without any check either.

##

Eventually, a calm state of mind, like being inside the eye of a storm, settled over him and the scorching sun vanished, retreating down the horizon. Its absence allowed his aching bones to heal, no longer being baked alive under its harsh, glistering rays.

“I think, the fever’s broken,” Argent’s voice was unmistakable as was the hand on his forehead, testing his body’s temperature.

“He’s calmer now, no more thrashing,” Stiles said quietly and when he heard his voice, Derek nuzzled closer, draping his body even more over the teen’s until a startled huff had him almost stopping. The pressure at his back subsided and the bed dipped, signalling the rest of his pack getting off.

“He’ll be fine now, right?” Why Scott of all people sounded so hopeful, Derek didn’t know since the teen couldn’t even stand him. Then again, he’d stood by him when Derek had gotten shot and he’d tried to defend him when he’d been knocked out. Maybe, the teen was finally realizing what it meant to be pack…

“I don’t know,” Argent admitted. “It’s a good sign that the fever broke but we won’t know if he’s going to come out of it without any damage until he wakes up and he can tell us himself…until then…”

“I think you guys can leave,” Stiles’ muffled voice had heads turning. “Get cleaned up. If I can smell you guys, I’m sure Derek can too and when he wakes up, he doesn’t need to be exposed to your stink…”

There were a few chuckles all around, lightening the otherwise gloomy atmosphere in the room.

“I’ll stay with him…”

“I’ll be back to check up on you in a little while,” Argent promised, or _threatened_ , depending on how you looked at it.

Derek drifted off again, barely aware of the soothing fingers running through his sweat soaked hair because all that mattered was the familiar beat of Stiles’ heart, lulling him into a restful sleep.

##

When his mind rose again from the recesses of sleep, he felt warm but unlike before, the warmth was comfortable, soothing even. His body was still hurting, his head ached as if someone had continuously used a sledge hammer on it but over all, the pains were already old, already fading.

Swallowing hard, his eyes fluttered open, blinking rapidly against the dimmed sunlight in the room. How much time had passed? Could be an eternity as far as he knew or maybe only a few hours? Smacking his lips, he directed his gaze around the room, trying to figure out where he was.

What had happened?

His forehead scrunched up as memories assaulted him, slotting into place and he involuntarily cringed when a finger poked him into his side.

“You’re awake!” Stiles exclaimed and when Derek managed to direct his gaze at the young teen who was sitting next to him, back propped up against the wall, he was welcomed with a near blinding smile.

“Hm…” he hummed, unsure what was going on but deciding he needed to say something.

“If you’re up to it, I think you should have a shower…you reek, Derek…really…”

“If you can help him, I’ll change the sheets for you…”

Maybe Derek was still a little bit out there since he hadn’t even heard Argent approach nor was he flinching when his voice came out of seemingly nowhere. He was aware, he was awake but everything was still sluggish as if he was looking at the world through a glass wall. Or, a better way to describe it, would be as if he was under water, trying to look out. His mind was slow and when he tried to shift, to roll sideways so he could get out of bed, his muscles barely responded to his commands.

It took all his strength to make it into a sitting position and it might be better if he just laid down again and went back to sleep because he wasn’t going to admit to being unable to walk or even ask for help. He should be able to do this on his own…he shouldn’t need to depend on other people and yet, here he was.

“I’ll help,” Stiles was there, right in front of him, grabbing his hands and hauling him onto his feet. Even with his strength diminished, he surely would’ve been able to stay seated if he had truly wanted to. The boy did have a point; he did stink and he’d rather go back to sleep on clean sheets which didn’t smell of sickness and with a clean body too.

Maybe he could make it to the bathroom, crawl into the shower stall and then just let the water wash over him…could be quite pleasant, he was sure of it.

Argent met Derek’s gaze for a few seconds before the older man walked briskly out of the room, probably in search of clean sheets.

“Come on,” Stiles urged him. “Before the pack realizes you’re awake…once they do, I don’t think you’ll have any privacy left for a shower!”

Derek grunted but he didn’t object when Stiles put a hand around his waist, attempting to steady him. The teen was a lot stronger than he looked but without Derek trying his best not to crash land, occasionally steadying himself on the wall, they wouldn’t have been able to walk to two steps. As it was, he was about to pass out with exhaustion by the time they finally made it into the bathroom and when he slumped down onto the toilet seat, he was slouching, putting his last reserves into staying put and not sliding onto the tiled floor.

This was embarrassing enough without him adding to it by acting like an invalid.

“Hm…” Stiles made a weird sound which had Derek lifting his gaze, watching somewhat befuddled as Stiles started taking of his clothes. “You can’t stand upright on your own, right?”

Derek narrowed his eyes. He couldn’t, no, but he’d be dammed if he was going to admit to it.

“I’ll manage,” he croaked out, having to swallow a few times to ease his dry throat.

“Right…” Stiles drew out the word. “You’ll manage…” he repeated what Derek had just said. “I’m sure you’ll manage just fine to land on your ass and probably break your neck in the process and then who would everyone blame?” There was a moment of silent before Stiles added. “Me, of course. And besides, we should conserve water, right? I stink too and there’s no way, I’ll let you do this on your own anyway. Jackson would eat me alive and hey, I think he would even have to Lydia on who gets to chop of my head first if I let you come to any harm…no, no, self preservation and all, we do this together…or not at all…”

Derek’s eyes glazed over when Stiles, casually as if he did this every day, took off the last piece of clothing, throwing onto the growing pile on the floor.

“Didn’t you say something about not throwing clothes onto the floor and that laundry didn’t happen magically?” Derek couldn’t help himself, he had to comment on what was happening because otherwise he would be mesmerized by the lean, young body before him. Stiles might not be sculptured like Scott or Jackson were, because those two possessed a different body type than the teen here but there still wasn’t a single ounce of fat to be found anywhere. And all the Lacrosse practice and running around in the woods had ensure that his muscles were toned and a sight to be hold.

“Now…” Stiles had come closer, standing before him, his flaccid cock right before Derek’s nose. Derek’s eyes widened in alarm before he squeezed them shut.

He assisted when Stiles pulled his shirt over his head and then removed his shoes. Getting back onto his feet and out of his jeans and underwear required a delicate balancing act but they managed without any injuries or without any further embarrassing stories to be added to the mix.

Turning on the water to scalding hot didn’t take long and together they manoeuvred themselves under the spray. Derek’s legs were shaking with exhaustion by then but you wouldn’t be able to tell unless you looked really carefully because he was very good at masking his feelings. He had a lot of experience, after all.

Bracing his hands on the wet tiles, he steadied himself, not protesting when Stiles started running a wash clothes over his body. This should either be embarrassing or highly arousing and Derek wasn’t sure yet, where his opinion was going to land.

Rivulets of water were running down his body, washing not only away the stick of his sweat but also cleansing him of what he’d gone through, restoring some sort of normalcy to his senses.

“I’ve only dreamt about this a hundred times,” Stiles muttered, too low for any human to hear but Derek picked up on the spoken words easily. “This isn’t fair…I shouldn’t be enjoying this…this isn’t right…not like this…but…I want to…”

Stiles’ words trailed off, leaving Derek confused. What was he not supposed to be enjoying? A shower? His question was answered when Stiles pressed closer, running the cloth over Derek’s front, his body close enough for Derek to notice the erection. _Oh_. Derek blinked. Maybe he should’ve seen this one coming considering Stiles had been asking about kissing but frankly, he hadn’t.

His dick twitched in responds because apparently it didn’t matter how exhausted or dead on his feet he was, a certain part of his anatomy was always up for business.

“Can you lean forward some more,” Stiles asked. “I want to wash your hair and not burn your eyes out while doing it.”

Derek adjusted his position, moving backwards, pressing his rear into Stiles’ front which had all sorts of interesting warning bells going off inside his head. Stiles squeaked, clearly not having expected the contact and he practically vaulted himself sideways. The unexpected motion when Stiles pushed into his side, had Derek loosing his footing, feet sliding away from underneath him. Before he knew what was happening, his head crashed into the shower wall which cracked ominous under the sudden impact, sending him reeling backwards and right into Stiles who was still struggling with his own balance. Hands landed on his body, shoving him forward again, probably a reflex reaction on the teen’s part to avoid getting buried alive by the larger Derek but unfortunately this action sent Derek forward again and this time, the shower door didn’t withstand the impact. 

To his dying day, Derek would deny squeaking and Stiles would insist he’d heard the sound Derek was making and they would fight with neither one of them coming out the victor.

Derek still had excellent reflexes, even if they were muted due to exhaustion but he still reacted fast enough to avoid landing head first on the sink. Instead, twisting sideways mid fall, he only hit his shoulder going down, sending new flares of pain through his body.

“Derek!”

His ears were ringing, both with the intensity of Stiles’ scream and with his own blood pumping rapidly through his body. Fighting for each breath, Derek chose to ignore the teen as he turned off the water, hurrying out of the shower stall and then crouching down in front of him.

“You hurt?”

“I’ll heal,” Derek managed to wheeze out while he fought for control.

“So not the point…” Stiles mumbled.

The teen then left his sight, rummaging around in the bathroom until he returned fully dressed, holding out a towel.

“Come on, let’s get you dried up…”

Derek refused the offered hand. The whole shower incident had been mortifying enough. Never mind he’d suddenly realized he was actually attracted to a 16 year old, something he could smack himself over the head with because in retrospect, the signs had been there, screaming loudly into his face. No, he was going to reclaim his dignity, get to his feet and get dressed without needing help. He wasn’t fragile or an invalid.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Stiles started scolding him, invading his space but Derek’s patience had never been good and right now, when Stiles got too close, he lashed out, pushing the boy away.

“Don’t,” he snarled, eyes narrowed and for once, Stiles actually backed off. The rapidly beating heart and the change in scent told him, he’d frightened him. It didn’t last long because by the time Derek had managed to grab a towel, Stiles’ scent was back to normal but for a brief moment in time, Stiles had been afraid. _Of him_. Somehow this fact didn’t fill him with the pleasure it normally would.

He ignored his clothes, wrapping the towel around his waist because there was no point in getting back into them. They were dirty, smelly and would probably need to be burnt and it would defy the whole point of having showered if he would put them on again.

Stiles followed him, like a shadow, hovering nearby, clearly ready to jump to his aid should Derek stumble and land on his ass but either he was extremely lucky or stronger than he thought, because he managed to get back to the bedroom without any further incident.

He slumped onto the bed, trying to calm his own rapidly beating heart because this whole thing shouldn’t have him feeling as if he’d been running all day and yet, here he was, fighting bone deep exhausting.

“Oh, look,” Stiles pointed at something but Derek was even too tired to lift his head. “Argent left some clean clothes…”

A garment smacked him in the head and with a low growl, telling Stiles to be careful, Derek removed it from his shoulders, holding it out in front of him: sweatpants.

Bending forward, he forced his feet into the pants, one by one and when he got up, his towel slipped but he honestly didn’t cared. He hadn’t cared before and he wasn’t about to turn into a prude now. There was no place for false modesty among werewolves because they were always into each other space and if you had body issues, you’d rapidly get over them or die of mortification.

He also ignored the sharp intake of breath or how Stiles scent changed again because he honestly was in no mood to deal with his new found understanding. When the pants were all the way pulled up, too big for his lean frame, he turned, allowing gravity to do its work.

He face-planted onto the bed, forcing his legs onto it and he didn’t care if he was lying on the comforter, he wasn’t about to move again. He was out like a light the moment he shoved his nose into the pillow, allowing his tired body to relax some more and refuel his ailing batteries with the power of sleep.

##

His pack came and went throughout the rest of the day but Derek was too exhausted to interact with them, barely opening an eye to acknowledge their existence. Sleeping through the night like a baby had him more surprised than anything because when he woke up yet again, the sun was slowly rising, basking the room in a very faint, warm light.

“Good morning…”

It was a testament to how _not well_ Derek still was because he hadn’t even noticed the other presence in the room. He huffed, turning over but he refused to sit up, staring up at Argent from his pillow.

It galled him to owe this man, this hunter, his life but there was no way to deny the facts: he was in the man’s debt.

“How did you find me?” he asked instead, not ready yet to speak the simplest two words in the English language and also the hardest at the same time.

“Stiles did,” Argent answered to his surprise. “Apparently, he and Danny managed to trace Scott’s phone before and he still remembered how to do it…”

Derek blinked, recalling hearing something along those lines but honestly, he had never paid much attention to how Jackson and Stiles had shown up at the Hale house in time for the epic showdown with his uncle.

So if the ungrateful pup hadn’t been there, Derek would probably be dead. It was a terrifying thought how fate often played with their lives because it was a set of so many coincidences which had ensured he was still alive today.

If Allison hadn’t shown up, wanting to still be a part of their little group…if he hadn’t sent her away, telling her to check with her boyfriend first…if Scott hadn’t wanted to deal with it right this instance, if he’d waited another day or two…well, then Derek would’ve been taken on his own and the serum would’ve finished him off.

Odd how everything sometimes worked out, right?

Suddenly, something else clicked in Derek’s mind. “Where you listening while…?” His voice trailed off and for a few seconds, Argent didn’t follow him until he paled a little bit before shaking his head.

“No,” he answered forcefully. “I wouldn’t have let them inject _anyone_ with something unknown…”

“Not even a werewolf?” Derek asked somewhat sarcastically because deep down he still doubted Argent had his best interests at heart. This got him a look which he couldn’t decipher before the other man replied.

“There were more than just two people in the compound, Derek,” he said in a tone of voice as if he was talking to a child. And truthfully, Derek could’ve smacked his own head because he should’ve realized that. “We captured one man when we entered and I sent the rest of the team ahead to search the area. I asked him a few pertinent questions and once I realized what they were up to, I had him show me where you were. And the rest, you know…”

At least this explained how Argent had known about the serum and a tight knot inside Derek’s chest unravelled. He hadn’t even known he’d been tense about this, wondering if Argent had let them proceed just to see if it would work. After all, the idea behind the serum wasn’t necessarily a bad one. Well, he thought it was downright awful but surely to wolves like Scott, if there were no side effects at all, a drug which could permanently suppress the wolf might be something desirable.

“Did you destroy…?”

“Yes,” Derek couldn’t even finish the sentence. “I might prefer a world where werewolves didn’t exist,” the hunter added gravely, “but I don’t think tampering with what natured intended is the way to go either. This usually leads to only more disasters and the last thing we need, is for this drug to get out there and for idiots to use it and then loose control over their wolf form. It would not only be dangerous to your kind, it would be a bloody nuisance to everyone…!”

Derek found, he couldn’t agree more. “Thanks,” he finally managed to say the word, forcing it through his clenched teeth as fast as he could.

Argent simply nodded before he rubbed his hands together, getting up. “Why don’t I give you some peace…you’ve been stared at long enough and I think you’re not about to go on a rampage…are you?”

Derek shook his head.

“Well then…” and then the hunter left the room, leaving Derek alone.

##

He must’ve dozed off again because the next time he opened his eyes, Stiles was there, lying on his side, eyes wide open and simply staring at him.

Derek blinked.

“You always stare at people when they are sleeping?”

“If they look like you, sure…” then it was Stiles’ turn to blink before he turned scarlet. “I didn’t mean to say that…did I say it out loud? Tell me, I didn’t just speak…I’m dreaming, right? Uh…go back to sleep…you’re not really awake yet…see…? There’s a pink sheep over there!”

Derek wasn’t falling for it, staring right back at Stiles while the teen squirmed.

“Oh, what the hell…” Stiles suddenly mumbled, eyes trained once again on Derek’s face, a strange, determined glint in his eyes. He moved, not so quickly that Derek couldn’t have stopped him but also not slow enough for Derek to fully comprehended what he was up to.

Shy lips were pressed to his own as Stiles crawled closer, pressing his whole body into Derek’s as if he was a cup in need of feeing and wait…did Derek just make himself the _mother_ in this scenario?

Any sort of _motherly_ feeling vanished, if they had ever existed, the moment Stiles pushed his tongue forward, pressing it into Derek’s mouth. A groan slipped free from his throat and since he wasn’t about to be outdone by a teen, Derek grabbed the slender boy, pushing him onto his back so he could blanket him with his wider body.

Stiles arched, pressing his hips upwards in an age old reflex, rubbing his growing erection into Derek’s muscular frame. Stiles’ hands came to rest on his hips, fingers digging into the flesh there but Derek hardly noticed.

He leaned forward again, planting yet another kiss to the boy’s sweet mouth. He didn’t linger there, despite the groan of protest which followed him. Instead, he trailed little butterfly kisses down the tender throat until he reached the crook of Stiles’ neck. Then his teeth came out, just a little bit, so he could nibble, drawing a few drops of blood which had Stiles shuddering underneath him was if he was wrecked by fever. And maybe they both were, since Derek couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt so flush, so _feverish_ for any lack of word while still enjoying himself.

There was, a small part of his mind, which was trying to stop him, trying to point out the age difference but they were both willing and wouldn’t he be a hypocrite if he would complain about being too old to sleep with a sixteen year old since he’d done exactly the same thing when he’d been the boy’s age?

Maybe, it was illegal; maybe, it was frowned upon by society but it felt _right_ and when Stiles’ finger softly, and slightly timidly, started running up and down Derek’s sides, poking at his ribs in an attempt to play, well, all rational thought went out the window, leaving nothing but pure, raw need behind.

A growl started deep inside him, vibrating not only through him but also through Stiles, as he started shoving at the t-shirt, needing to find bare skin so he could, too, run his fingers over the sweet flesh, go where probably no one had gone before. The thought alone was such a turn on he could barely breathe. He would’ve never thought, he’d be one of those creeps who loved to bed virgins. There was something to be said for _experience_ after all but if anything, Stiles was a fast learner and hadn’t he made all the moves so far? Inexperienced he might be but Derek would be hard pressed with calling him actually _innocent_.

“Derek…”

Hearing his name falling from Stiles’ lips sent him into what, ordinarily could only be called _frenzy_ but he was shying away from the word now because it would imply a loss of control and, considering recent events, he was somewhat allergic to even to notion of not being in charge. Call it a character flaw, if you must.

Feeling the muscles clench and unclench on the teen’s stomach, hearing his breathing stuttering, his heart rate going through the roof…he wouldn’t be able to pick any single thing as the catalyst for nearly sending him over the edge prematurely but combined? Stiles was a dangerous package…

He ripped through the jeans, not caring if the cloth actually got damage, wedging a hand into Stiles’ clothes, wrapping his hand around the raging hard on which greeted him.

Stiles squeaked, a high pitched sound which had his ear ringing from its intensity, body buckling underneath him. Derek grinned, loving how he was able to elicit these sounds from the otherwise so eloquent teen, reducing him to nothing but startled gasps and needy whines. 

He was surprised, and baffled, when instead of staying put, letting Derek continue his ministrations, learning every nuisances of Stiles’ hard flesh, the teen suddenly pulled away from his grasp, grabbing Derek by the scruff of his neck, yanking him sideways. Derek went with the motion, more startled than really forced, wanting to see where Stiles was going with this.

His pupils were probably as much dilated as Stiles’ were when then came to straddle him, ruining any wanking fantasies to come since nothing could possibly ever compare to the debouched look on the handsome face, shirt shoved upwards, exposing a tantalising strip of flat stomach while his trousers were shoved down his hips, cock hanging out. Or maybe _hanging out_ was the wrong word, since it was standing up right for all to see.

Stiles surprised him again, by placing one hand on top of Derek’s chest, pressing ever so slightly down to tell him to stay put. Derek got the message and some of the tension bled out of his body, allowing Stiles to be in charge for the moment. His previous need to be the dominant one, to take control, was forgotten since nothing could compare to watching Stiles get on with things.

His other free hand moved slowly southwards, fingers softly stroking over exposed skin, causing Derek to shudder. His eyes lids fluttered shut so he didn’t see the pleased expression flickering across Stiles’ face. Taking pleasure in having your partner submit, even if only momentarily, and in knowing you’re bringing him pleasure, reducing him to nothing but a puddle of nerves, well, no one was immune to such feelings.

There was a tentative pause when one thumb pushed passed the waistband of the sweatpants Derek was wearing, as if Stiles needed a moment to gather his courage but the teen was nothing if not determined because the pause didn’t last very long. Cool air assaulted his heated skin and when the teen pulled, Derek lifted his hips to assist, allowing the fabric to be shoved down onto his thighs, exposing his hard shaft.

Stiles gasped and it was this sound which had Derek opening his eyes again. It wasn’t as if he was worried about size because he knew he well endowed but it was probably on every man’s mind to worry about how he was being received. Maybe it fell into pleasing ones mate or something equally sentimental but if there had been any doubts, they evaporated quickly, like hot water on a stove, when he saw Stiles licking his lips, looking as if he had just found the perfect candy and couldn’t wait to taste it.

The image alone, of the lush lips wrapped around his cock, of him pushing his member deeper and deeper into Stiles’ throat had him groaning, hot waves of pleasure running up and down his spine as his eyes fluttered shut again from the onslaught of mind numbing images alone.

There was slurping noise, he arched off the bed, an uncharacteristic whimper leaving his throat and he couldn’t believe what he was feeling until he forced his eyes open again, watching his fantasy come to live.

Stiles was too new to this, there was no way he could take him fully into his mouth but he was getting points for effort and watching how his cheek hollowed out, how his throat worked overtime and how the lips…these lips…stretched around the head of his cock…Derek could do nothing but stare. His throat was dry. All blood rushed out of his body and into _one_ specific body part and before he could stop the train from leaving the station, he yelped, shouting Stiles’ name and then, the volcano inside him erupted into fiery streaks.

Stiles valiantly tried to swallow, using his other hand now to aid himself in keeping Derek’s cock on place but there was no way he could take everything and Derek was still in shock when his dick slipped out of the teen’s mouth, white strands of his seed glistering on the boy’s chin.

Stiles gave him a sheepish grin, ducking his head. _Now_ he was turning shy?

Derek’s eyes wandered down the teen’s body, hand already raised to lend a helping hand but when his gaze settled on the now flaccid cock, he realized Stiles had come just from servicing him. If this alone wasn’t enough to get his dick twitching again, then Derek didn’t deserve to be in love.

 _Wait_ …his mind stuttered to a halt, its usually slow grinding wheels stopping entirely as he tried to process the traitorous thought which had just slipped passed his defences.

He was still silent as Stiles snuggled down, seeming not to care about the mess between them, simply falling forward so he could snuggle into Derek. He wrapped his arms around the boy almost automatically while he listened to his breathing evening out.

Despite his inner turmoil, the now even and steady heartbeat he so lo…no, _liked_ listening to, lulled him into yet another round of sleep. At the rate he was going, he was going to set a world record of sleeping hours but he was beyond caring at this point.

##

When he woke up, he was once again alone, sheet draped over to hide his naked lower body and the traces of their love making. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was mid morning. 

Scratching his stomach, he pulled off the sheets, eyes settling onto a new pile of clean clothes resting on a chair near the bed. Someone must’ve gone and washed his sullied clothes and he was glad for it because he couldn’t say he was feeling comfortable wearing another man’s scent. He appreciated the offer of clean clothes but his senses weren’t too happy with it.

He got out of bed, straightened his clothes before snatching them up, heading once again towards the shower. This time he didn’t linger, cleaning himself quickly. When he was dressed, he made sure that there were no traces of what they had done on the sweatpants before returning to the room. He critically eyed the sheets but apart from being messed up, there were no stains on them. Sure, a quick sniff confirmed that the scent of sex still lingered but his nose was a lot finer than a human’s so he was relatively sure no one would know what had transpired.

 _Good_ , he wasn’t ready to broadcast the new turn in his relationship with Stiles since he still hadn’t faced his own inner demons in regards to the teen. The last thing he needed was for someone else to poke his nose into matters which were private.

He wasn’t actively trying to sneak out of the Argent’s house but if he had managed to leave without running into anyone, he wouldn’t have been broken up about it.

“You should have some breakfast before you leave,” Argent’s wife stopped him at the bottom of the stairs.

“Ungh…”

“Nonsense,” she insisted and to be honest, between husband and wife, Derek actually found the woman a lot scarier than him. “You haven’t eaten in days. I’m not letting you leave without eating.”

He still wasn’t overly hungry but she probably had a point which was the only reason why he allowed himself to be dragged into the kitchen. She served him a huge pile of toast, eggs and bacon and once he was done, he couldn’t deny feeling a bit better for it.

“Thank you,” he said again, briefly wondering if it was going to get easier to _thank_ people if he kept repeating the words over and over again.

“You’re welcome,” she said, turning her back to him and he took this as his queue to leave. He got the distinct impression, she would bury a knife in his back the moment he gave her a good cause and he’d rather not stick around to find out what constituted a _good cause_ in the read head’s opinion.

Once outside, he realized he was without a car and he was on the other side of town but with a shrug, he decided a good walk was probably going to do him good. It wasn’t as if Beacon Hills was huge.

It was already passed noon by the time he made it to the Stilinski household. Of course, he’d lost his keys when he’d been captured so he tried his luck with the door knob. If Stiles was home, there was a good chance he would leave the door unlocked. Normally, this would get him a scolding for being stupid but he would let it slide this time since it would actually work in his favour.

The door opened easy enough and Derek honestly wasn’t trying to be stealthy but he still closed it carefully behind him. Maybe, it was inbred in who he was but when he made his way down the hall, he hardly made any sound at all and it was probably because his pups were still newly turned that they didn’t hear him approaching. Under normal circumstances, Derek would be appalled and he was just about to enter and raise the subject of being more aware of their surroundings when something in the conversation had him halting mid step.

“You owe me 50 bucks,” Jackson said, glee evident in his voice.

“I don’t think so,” Scott protested. “What proof is there? We only have Stiles’ word…”

“Bah,” Jackson objected. “You know he’s no longer a virgin by simply looking at him. He’s practically glowing. Now, give me my money.”

“Guys,” Stiles interrupted from further away in the living room, “If anyone deserves the money for finally getting laid, it’s me.”

 _A bet._ There had been a bet about Stiles loosing his virginity.

“But did it have to be Derek?” Scott whined, as if the thought of Derek alone was enough to make him break out into hives. “I mean come on, surely you could’ve found someone else…”

A normal reaction would’ve been for Derek to barge into the room, tear it to shreds and maybe remove one or two limbs from bodies but for some strange reason, a calmness settled over him as he took the remaining steps into the living room.

The room feel quiet, all eyes trained on him. The heaviness in the air was almost palpable, and for a brief moment, he wondered if he would be able to cut it with a knife.

“Kate at least never pretended to be someone she wasn’t,” he gritted out, knowing the statement was true the moment it left his lips. Sure, she deceived him but only because he’d been stupid enough to fall for her doe eyes and her pretty face. Thinking back, she’d never promised him anything. She didn’t tell him lies, making the few times they had made love into anything it wasn’t.

She used him shamelessly to get the information she wanted but he’d always known she was dangerous. The predator inside her had been easily recognizable for someone like him and he couldn’t deny it had added yet another strange allure to the whole thing. He’d known she was a hunter as she had known what he was and while he might’ve wondered if their love story was going to end tragically, he’d honestly never thought it would go down the way it had.

But the point he was trying to make was simple: she’d never lied about being a scheming bitch. He hadn’t seen what she was up to but he’d always known there was something wrong with her and he’d still associated with her.

His family’s death was on him even if he hadn’t actually lit the match.

But Stiles? He’d _lied_. Kate’s seduction techniques had been obvious, playing on his raging teenage hormones and any idiot would’ve known what she’d been offering. And to make matters worse, this had all been about a bet? About Stiles finally loosing his virginity? As a guy he could relate, clearly remembering wanting to get off with someone else so badly it had hurt but…his thoughts tampered off, not wanting to end up in a circle which could end in nothing but more pain and misery.

“Kate?” it was Allison who spoke, frowning heavily. “You slept with my aunt?”

Derek blinked, tearing his eyes away from the still shell shocked boys to look at the girl. “Yes?” he asked somewhat tentatively. “I thought you knew…I thought your father would’ve told you…”

“You fucked the crazy bitch who killed your family?” Stiles crude words had him yanking his head sideways, staring at the teen who seemed to be coming down with something because his face was flushed and if he didn’t let go of some tension in his body, he was probably going to snap in half any minute now. “How could you? After what she’d done?”

“Huh?” now it was Derek’s time to be confused because Stiles’ words didn’t make much sense.

He levelled one grave look at the boys before turning around, walking up the stairs.

“Wait!” Stiles was shouting again while furious whispers broke out behind him.

“You idiot.”

There was a slapping sound which practically echoed through the house but Derek couldn’t tell who had hit whom.

“Only boys could be this stupid to make about loosing your virginity. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin!”

“Only a girl…” Jackson was about to counter in a very snide tone of voice but to give Allison credit, she mowed right over him, not letting him get a word in edgewise. “What were you thinking?” She hissed. “This is Derek we’re talking about here!”

“I didn’t…” Stiles was trying to defend himself.

“The bet was my idea,” Scott offered up and then the whispered descended into name calling and more slapping and Derek stopped listening.

He quickly stuffed his dirty clothes into his duffel bag before shouldering it. Should he head out the front door? But the noises were slowly calming down and he’d rather not have another round with them so he turned, heading to the window. Seconds later he’d vanished, leaving no trace of him behind.

He never heard how Stiles was frantically trying to explain that the bet had never been his idea, how the reason why he’d gone after Derek had nothing to do with his virginity and how the Alpha practically had shutters on and if he’d waited for Derek to find a clue, he’d be 70.

By the time these words were spoken, Derek was already a few blocks away. Hot wiring his own car surely wasn’t a criminal offence, right?

The last thing he needed right now was get arrested! In his condition, he might actually commit murder if someone looked at him the wrong way…

##

Driving always relaxed him since there was something to be said for following the road where it led, regardless of his own desires. It was almost hypnotic to stare ahead, follow the markings and just focus on staying on the correct side of the street, letting everything else fall away. Kind of like when he went running in the woods…

Eventually, he pulled into a dirt path, following it until he reached a clearing. When he exited the car, bird chirps greeted him and the wind softly ruffled his hair. Its touch was almost comforting, like a caress and yet, no comfort was to be had.

He took a few steps sideways before leaning against the trunk, slumping to the ground. Once he was sitting on the moist grass, he pulled his legs up to his chin, folding his arms around them, breathing in his own scent. His eyes fluttered shut and a frown appeared on his forehead.

What the hell had just happened?

He wasn’t one to run away from a fight, to shy away from a conflict. Even before killing Peter and becoming an Alpha, he’d always been in other people’s faces when he thought it was warranted. He could be kind of an ass and he’d been told as such numerous times.

And yet, there was no way to explain his behaviour apart from giving it its proper name:he’d run.

He should’ve stayed, shoved Stiles into the wall, maybe strangling him a little bit until his lips turned blue…a smile spread across his face. The picture shouldn’t really be this appealing, right?

And he could’ve easily pulled Scott and Jackson close, ramming their heads together because if he’d go with his first instinct, tearing at least one limb off, it probably wouldn’t grow back and he couldn’t actually have maimed werewolves in his pack…on the other hand, the theory had never really been tested, not as far as he knew. _Hm…_ Maybe they had been volunteering? He chuckled at his own stupid thoughts but his lighter mood vanished as quickly as it had come over him.

His kind was hard to kill but a good shot to the head, or cutting off said head, usually did do the trick. But you didn’t die if you lost a limb. Sure, blood loss could be a problem, so could infection but what if the rapid healing gene that came with being a werewolf, would counter that? Would the missing limb grow back?

 _Hm_ …no, he wasn’t going to think those morbid thoughts because he’d rather not indulge in his more violent fantasies. He wished he could ask his mother if dreaming about blood and fighting was just him or if it was something inbred into all wolves. As a species they were more primal than humans, or maybe their violence was just more obvious, because humans did managed to do rather gruesome things all on their own too.

A sigh escaped his lips. Why had he run? _Why?_

_Because if he’d stayed, he might have given into his violent urge and he would’ve actually harmed Stiles…_

Or…

_He would’ve harmed Stiles…he would’ve had to stay and face as to why he would’ve harmed the teen…and harming Stiles…_

Apparently, the common denominator was _Stiles_. He didn’t want to harm the boy because…because _cared_ , no, he did more than just care and at the same time, he was so incredibly mad for having gotten played the second time around.

He was a guy; so deep down he could totally understand the appeal of doing something this stupid. Of daring someone to pick up a stranger, sleep with him, or her, because he’d done enough crazy things of his own when he’d been away at college. It kind of was the time where you were supposed to act like an idiot…

But getting played a second time, well, his pride wasn’t just dented; it had been shredded…was this why he was still angry?

Wait…was he angry? Why wasn’t he running through the woods, tearing into defenceless animals, proofing his worth? Or at least, banging his head against a tree? Why wasn’t he doing _something_?

He shivered, pulling his knees closer up to his body. Something wasn’t right. His emotions usually were volatile, always pushing and tearing at him, testing his control and hadn’t he only recently nearly morphed into a monster, loosing total control? Where were they now?

Another shiver racked over his body followed by a rather distinctive flare of heat and alarm bells started going off inside head. He extracted a hand, bringing it up to his forehead to test his temperature. It didn’t work so well when you did it yourself and you had no one to compare it with but there was no other choice to be had.

His fingers touched his forehead, noting the soft sheen of sweat and yes, he couldn’t be sure, but he did think his temperature was rising again. Clammy skin was an indication of running a fever, right? It would account for feeling so hot and cold at the same time and for the wind, which had been nothing but comforting moments ago, which was slowly turning out to be painful, its icy fingers pinching his skin and making him want to crawl into a hole.

This wasn’t good…could he make it back to Beacon Hills? Since he had no clue how long he’d been driving, probably not. He wasn’t going to risk loosing control of the car and himself on route so he needed to find a place to hole up here…

He eyed his car. Not the best spot but he was already in a remote location and if he wolfed out, if he totally lost it, then what better place than the middle of the forest?

He barely managed to crawl back into the car, closing the door and locking himself in before the first vicious shiver wrecked his body. He more or less flung himself over the seat and into the back seat of the car before he curled up into a tight ball, squeezing his eyes shut.

He seriously must’ve pissed someone off in a previous life…he couldn’t even recall the last time he’d been able to just be…to go about his life without any major drama throwing him for a loop. He’d always considered himself as strong, able to handle things but honestly? He wasn’t so sure how much more of this he could take before something irrevocably was going to snap inside of him…


	6. Chapter 6

The gentle wind from before had morphed into a storm, howling with the best of them, shaking the car, and when Derek opened his eyes, awareness fluttering back in, he was seriously concerned about getting flipped over. For a brief second, his muscles tensed, hands shooting out to grab at the upholstery, bracing himself for impact and then…nothing happened.

The car was being rocked back and forth under the onslaught of the wind but despite its strength, it wasn’t strong enough to turn over a car with someone inside it. Still, the harsh gusts of wind might fell a tree and considering his recent luck, _that_ bloody tree would land on his head!

Slowly stretching, he unfolded himself from his near foetal position, testing his limbs for functionality. His clothes were sticking to him again but after taking a quick whiff, his odour wasn’t as intolerable as it had been the first time around. Nothing a quick stop in the rain wouldn’t cure and with that thought in mind, he heaved himself off the seat, crawled towards the back door, flipping the latch, vaulting himself outside. The rain was coming down hard and when he tilted his head skywards, embracing all the huge drops, it was almost as if the water wasn’t only cleansing his skin but also his soul.

It was over.

How he knew, he couldn’t say. But there wasn’t a single shred of doubt on his mind: the fever wasn’t going to come back. It had run its course, burnt out what had been bothering him, leaving only this new him behind.

Frowning, he moved his head back into a normal position, staring ahead into the darkness of the forest. Night must’ve fallen at some point and maybe a normal person would be frightened to be out in the woods at this late hour but to him? To him, this was almost like a second home. His eyes adjusted easily, allowing him to see more than any human could and in the darkness, the forest had come alive. There were no words to describe the green beauty before him, shrouded in mute colours and yet, still shining with an inherent brightness.

There was a reason why werewolves rarely lasted in big cities and this was why. They craved nature, being in touch with their natural habitat and, it was just a random idea, but if humans wouldn’t ignore their baser instincts so much, then maybe the crime rate in the cities would go down too.

Or maybe, they would find something else to bicker and fight about. It wasn’t as if living in smaller towns made his kind docile…if anything, packs were very territorial and just passing through another wolf’s territory could spark a war if it wasn’t handled right.

When he felt clean enough, soaked through to the bone, he returned to his car. He turned over his duffel bag, looking for a dry shirt and once he found one, he quickly made the exchange. His second pair of jeans followed and once he’d nearly snapped his spine in half with changing in the backseat of a car, he was as dry as he could possibly manage. His dark hair was plastered to his head with small streams of water running down front and back but a quick wipe with the discarded shirt fixed this very quickly.

The car didn’t start at the first try but it did at the second and without switching on the headlights, he made his way back to the main road. Only then did he turn them on because out here, they were needed so other, oncoming cars would see him. Back in the forest, the blinding lights would’ve only hindered his keen eye sight but out here, among _normal_ traffic, the lights were more for _them_ and less for him. He had perfect night vision after all.

Beacon Hills was further away than he’d thought since it took him nearly two hours to make his way back there. The sun was almost rising by the time he got to the Hale property which only recently had been returned to him. How Laura could’ve let it be seized, he didn’t know but he intended to keep it, find a way to rebuild the house and make a new life for himself here.

How he was going to pay for it, he didn’t know but using all the money he’d saved, including what he’d gotten once Peter had been declared dead, had gone into getting the property back, paying any outstanding taxes on it and now, he was left with practically nothing.

Which reminded him, he would have to see if his job at the bar was still there. _Damn it_ , he cursed, hitting the steering wheel hard enough for it to crack. He only reigned himself in because the last thing he could afford right now, was have to pay to get his car fixed up because he’d been unable to control himself. If he needed to smash something, there were more than enough trees to go around. And good part of the house needed tearing down too if he didn’t want to harm _innocent_ trees.

Stuffing his haphazardly strewn clothes back into the duffel bag didn’t take long and when he got out of the car, he easily flung it over his shoulder.

Once he was inside, he deposited the bag in its familiar spot on the ground, slumping down on the mattress. _Back to square one it was then…_ , he thought.

The rain was falling less hard now but if he wanted to, it could still drawn out his senses. Instead, he focused inwards, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. And there was something _wrong_ with him.

What had triggered the second fever?

Casting his mind back, he let the events play out again and the only thing he could come up with was that the fever had been triggered by his anger. His wolf, his animal side, had been trying to come out and yet, he hadn’t let himself be overpowered by it, choosing to run instead. Both physically and metaphorically so it would seem…

Taking a deep breath, he tried listening to his body, trying to confirm his previous assessment that the drug was now gone for good and the fever, and the danger, wasn’t going to come back.

He couldn’t detect anything unusual which served as somewhat of a calming effect but it didn’t change one important fact: something was still _wrong_.

He was too calm. And yes, he was aware of the irony of the statement since keeping his emotions in check had been all he’d been doing for the past few days. And yet, he should be feeling angry; he should be mad at Stiles and the others; he should be planning revenge; teaching them a lesson for messing with him, for messing with their Alpha but no such emotion was forthcoming.

It was, as if everything had been swallowed by one big hole, leaving him empty on the inside. What about positive emotions then? Sitting up, he looked around but it was very hard to feel anything _positive_ in the ruins of his former home. Despair then, sorrow…anything but anger…

Usually, this place settled him but it also made him incredibly sad and it always required a balancing act on his part to keep his gloomy mood from totally taking over. 

He’d been right. Something had shifted inside him. Everything was muted…he couldn’t feel anger or hatred any more because he also couldn’t feel his sorrow either. He should be railing at the injustice of it all, shedding tears, at least on the inside, for his dead family and yet, nothing was happening.

He was so used to bottling up his emotions that it had become second nature to him so this could be used as an excuse as to why it was taking him so long to figure out what was wrong but now, there was no point in denying it any longer.

The serum hadn’t turned him into monster but while fighting it, he must’ve shoved his emotions so far down, that now he couldn’t access them any more. Or at least, he could only feel shadows of them, remnants of what he should be feeling while not even coming close to them.

_Huh…_

He should probably be worried about this lack of emotions he was currently feeling but even _worry_ required an emotion and he couldn’t muster it.

He paused, tilting his head sideways as he strained his ears. Yes, a car was coming. He was up and out of the house in no time, sniffing the air, trying to gauge who was coming his way.

 _Stiles_.

His heart jumped, skipping a beat, and this was the strongest sensation he’d felt ever since he’d come to in the car hours ago. Why did everything always seem to circle back to the teen?

The car had barely stopped when Stiles jumped out, not even bothering with shutting the door after him.

“You asshole!” he shouted. Where Derek’s emotions had currently decided to take a vacation, Stiles’ obviously hadn’t because Derek couldn’t recall seeing the teen ever this angry. Smoke was almost steaming off his head and if it were possible, his eyes would be probably shooting fire considering how alive and how enraged they looked.

“We thought you were dead!” he shouted, running towards him until he was close enough for Derek to touch him. He probably should’ve seen the swing coming but he hadn’t, so he nearly fell on his ass when Stiles’ fist connected with his jaw. A vicious kick to his shins followed and if he hadn’t reached out, grabbing Stiles’ hand, he would’ve probably tried to hit him again.

He shoved the teen backwards to get him away from him but the boy still wasn’t done. Balling his fingers into tight fists, he was the personification of anger management issues.

“Scott thought you’d offed yourself when he couldn’t sense you anymore! And Jackson was practically doing cartwheels trying to understand what was going on! You can’t overtax his brain like that! He isn’t equipped to handle it!”

“And Lydia?”

“How dare you ask about any of them?” Stiles shouted back. “You obviously don’t give a flying fuck!” And with a little bit more calm, he added. “She was the only one who said you were fine and we shouldn’t panic…for some reason, she’s got faith in you.”

“What made you think I would’ve killed myself anyway?” Derek asked, curious.

“Because Scott had to jump on you to stop you from shooting yourself! Or have you forgotten?” Stiles roared. “And they couldn’t feel you any more…”

Derek frowned, crooking his head sideways, trying to process what he’d just heard. An Alpha controlled his pack and it was up to him to determine how much control he exerted. Peter, for example, had demanded nothing but blind obedience but Derek so far had only wanted to be asked where major decisions were concerned. 

Maybe his muted emotions had somehow affected the pack bond and his pups had picked up on it? It was the only logical explanation…

Normally, he would be right in Stiles’ face, demanding the teen to stand down but he could barely feel irritation at having him speak to him in such a manner.

“Never mind,” Stiles mumbled, narrowing his eyes. “You’re obvious well and alive. I’ll leave it to you to talk Scott and Jackson down from their panic attacks.”

A moment of silence descended upon them and Derek watched in fascination as Stiles shifted his feet, his anger leaving his body while something akin to worry took over. “You have to know, I didn’t try to sleep with you because of a bet…”

Derek only raised an eye brow.

“I mean,” Stiles stuttered, “I probably should’ve told them to mind their own business but it was kind of flattering and yes, a part of me wanted to proof them wrong but this wasn’t why I made advances…”

“Why did you then?”

“Because if I hadn’t,” now Stiles was back to shouting, “You would’ve never made any move! You would’ve probably continued to live in happy denial land until I had grey hairs and what kind of sex could sixty year olds possibly have?”

Now it was Derek’s turn to blink.

“Wolves mate for life,” Stiles continued and Derek made a shooing motion with his hand because he knew about mating habits, probably even more than the teen did. And besides, _wolves_ mated for life, werewolves not so much. Well, he amended silently, legend said that if you found your one, true mate, you would mate for life but most of his kind never found their mate so they had more or less human like relationships which just as often ended in divorce and disgruntled exes.

“And you’re it…”

“Huh?” Derek was back to frowning. This made no sense. Stiles was human. What was he talking about?

“Do you honestly have to be this dense?” the teen asked, exasperated. “You’re _it_ for me!” he yelled. “You broody sour wolf, you’re mine! I’ve known since I first saw you. Well,” the teen amended, “not right away because initially, I wanted nothing more than run away from you but I was already fascinated…and the more I got to know your grumpy self, the more I knew! You were mine and I was yours and I also realized, you were never going to find a clue!”

To say Derek was stunned into silence would’ve been an understatement. Very few things managed to take him by surprise but lately, Stiles always seemed to be _one of those few things_.

“And what on earth possessed you to sleep with Kate? I’ve got to ask…”

Derek shrugged. “It’s not as if I knew she was going to go all homicidal and crazy on me…”

Now it was Stiles’ turn to make a _huh_ noise.

“How could you not have known?” He asked, frowning. “Wait…” the teen’s voice trailed off. “We’re not talking about now, are we? We’re talking about way back when…what…six years ago? You were…sixteen?” He crooked his head just so, a gesture which Derek had always found rather distraction.

“What else would we be talking about?” Derek asked, confusion evident in his voice before the dots finally connected. “You can’t honestly think I would’ve slept with her _now_?” The incredulity in his voice clearly broadcasted what he thought of the idea.

“Uhm…” Stiles hedged.

“She used me,” Derek clarified since apparently there was a break in the information chain trickling down. He would’ve assumed Allison’s father had told her and then she would’ve told Scott and then everyone would’ve known and besides, the town was small, it wasn’t as if it had been a secret back then that they’ve been together…

Stiles was quiet, which was just unnatural, until he said, “Moving on…” he made waving gesture with his hand. “So, I’m no longer mad at you for cheating on me, glad that’s solved…”

“Eh?”

“Now,” Stiles continued. “You can tell if I am lying by listening to my heartbeat, right? And you know, I’m crap at control so there should be no doubt on your mind of what I’m going to say now, right?”

Derek nodded, not sure what else to do. He crooked his head, listening to Stiles’ heart just as he had been asked. The sound always was comforting and even now, when his emotions were all muted, it still soothed his soul.

“Alright then,” Stiles stalled, nervousness clearly evident on his face and in his entire body because he was fidgeting more than usually. “Just so you know, I won’t be accepting _no_ as an answer.”

“To what?”

“Be my boyfriend?” Stiles spit out, words tumbling from his mouth at lighting speed, almost too fast to be understood. “You’re it for me, man…” the teen continued. “It took me a while to realize what this chemistry between us was and my Mum told me a long time ago, should I ever find true love, that I should hold onto it with both hands…and you could run, you could keep living in denial land but I’m not going anywhere!”

Derek stared, dumbfounded, flummoxed and any other word which popped right into his head were all along those lines. And then…as if someone had waved a magic wand, as if hearing the words out loud was what was needed to lift the veil from his thoughts, and everything fell into place.

How he’d always felt comforted in Stiles’ presence; how his heart beat had always soothed him; how his scent was like coming home…

 _Mate_.

Contrary to popular believe, finding a true mate was a rare things. Maybe not among actual wolves but among the werewolf kind, a mate was almost like a fairy tale. Everyone knew of it, believed in it, hoped for it, but it rarely happened. Well, it happened often enough to fuel the rumours, to foster the longing in all wolves but most went through their entire life without ever finding their soul mate.

Stiles must’ve been unusually perceptive to have picked up on it since humans usually couldn’t tell but then again, the teen had been full of surprises so far so why was he even astonished he’d put the pieces together long before he had?

“Why are you quiet?” Stiles started stuttering. “You’re not thinking about maiming me and then burying my body in your back yard, are you?”

Derek grinned, the very rare smile transforming his face, leaving Stiles actually gaping and speechless. He filed this away for future use because he figured, he was going to need as much ammunition as he could find if he was going to survive a life with Stiles.

And yes, the age difference was going to be a problem for a while but they would make it work.

“You’re my mate,” Derek said carefully, tasting the words, feeling how they rolled of his tongue.

“Yay?” Stiles asked carefully, as if he was trying to gauge if this was something Derek was happy about.

“You’re mine,” Derek narrowed his eyes at the teen. “Don’t even think about running!”

Stiles gaped at him before he came closer, shoving at Derek’s chest. “I’m not the one who was running, you idiot! _I_ was right here!”

“We still got a problem though…”

“Huh?”

“I ran another fever,” Derek quickly explained. “And something must’ve gone wrong because I can’t really feel anything any more…I mean, the emotions are still there but as if someone has muted them…”

“Oh…” Stiles got a mischievous look on his face as he pulled away. “When I’m done freaking out about the fact that you’re managed to nearly die again…” he actually shoved hard enough for Derek to stumble backwards, “then I think I’ve got just the thing to make you feel again. I mean,” he added with a leer which was just downright creepy on a sixteen year old boy, “If this doesn’t work, then you might just as well be dead.”

And then, to Derek’s never ending surprise, Stiles dug into his pockets, producing a condom and lube.


	7. Chapter 7

They stumbled inside, Stiles in the lead because Derek was still baffled and it took his overtaxed brain a few seconds to manage a reboot.

“I’m not having my first time on this ratty mattress,” Stiles complained, glaring at him. “I’ve got standards and this won’t do…”

“Technically, you can’t claim virginity any more,” Derek pointed out.

Stiles shrugged. “No matter what everyone else says, I won’t consider myself properly debouched until you’ve shoved your, hopefully…” and now Stiles was pointedly lowering his eyes, looking straight at Derek’s crotch, “gigantic dick up my ass.”

Derek managed a snort before his dick, which wasn’t small by the way, started to protest against the confines of his jeans.

“You want to wait then?”

“Hell, no!” Stiles proclaimed, turning around again, eyeing the mattress. “Well, if needs must…” he said, voice theatrically resigned as if he’d just accepted a world weary and nearly impossible task.

“There’s also a very nice spot out back by the pond…”

“Err…” Stiles said, turning to face him again, holding up one hand. “Flee bites against…” now he raised his other hand to the same level, “biting ants…”

He levelled a forlorn look at Derek. “I can’t decide!”

Derek decided he had enough, grabbing Stiles by the hand, dragging him outside. “I don’t have any flees,” He pointed out while he was more or less running towards the spot he had mentioned before.

“Says you…” Stiles mumbled. “I’m pretty sure I something jumping, flexing its jaw, mouth salivating at the upcoming feast of naked flesh…”

Derek gritted his teeth, welcoming his current muted state of mind because otherwise, well, he doubted sex would’ve still been in his thoughts because even right now, bashing Stiles against one of those huge trees seemed to be rather appealing. How was this ever going to work? What if he turned out to be really violent? Stiles did manage to bring out his baser emotions…it could be dangerous for the teen…

He aborted this train of thought almost immediately because for better of worse, Stiles was now saddled with him. Maybe, if Derek hadn’t realized Stiles was his mate, the teen would’ve been able to walk away. Now, after the declaration, Derek would chase him down and woe anyone who ever dared to look cross eyed at what his!

“Why are you getting angry?” Stiles asked. “You should be in your happy place!”

Derek growled, stopping only to turn around, grabbing Stiles by his shoulders, flinging him onto a rather huge section of moss.

“Eeeeekkk!” Stiles screeched and the forest went quiet, animals suddenly worried a new predator was in their midst. Derek wasn’t so sure he should be laughing or crying so he settled for tearing off his clothes. Sometimes, if option A and B weren’t working out, there was always option C.

“What…are…you…doing?” Stiles panted.

“Getting undressed?”

“But…why?”

Derek raised an eye brow, watching as Stiles’ face turned beet red. “Do you want me to do this fully clothed? I can, if you want…I could just pull my dick out, it’s really all I need…”

“No!” Stiles squeaked, shaking his head.

Derek laughed, finishing undressing and since he’d never been bothered with nudity before, he didn’t mind Stiles watching his every move. The teen’s tongue darted out, licking his lips and he didn’t even need his excellent hearing to know, the boy’s heart beat was through the roof. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and his eyes were wide, kind of as if he was seeing something he liked and didn’t know if he should run or come closer. 

“Do you want me to undress you?” Derek offered which earned him a blink. Then, as if a lightning bolt had been shoved up his ass, Stiles was off the ground, practically tearing his own clothes off. Some fabric ripped but he didn’t even stop to investigate.

“Have you lost your voice?” Derek asked. He’d always imagined Stiles would be very vocal about this since the teen was rarely silent but for some reason, the only sound he was currently emitting was harsh breathing and the occasional keening sound whenever his eyes fluttered to Derek’s naked body.

Arousal hung heavy in the air, saturating everything and when Stiles removed the last shoe, Derek was already standing behind him, putting his hands on his hips, pulling him flush against his body.

There was the sweet squeak again and for a split second, Stiles tensed before he practically melted against him, shoving his ass backwards so Derek’s cock managed to nestle right between the plump cheeks.

Maybe, Stiles was a natural at this…

Derek allowed his hands to wander, fingers tracing slow circles over Stiles’ flat belly. The teen’s head rested on Derek’s body and when he started multi tasking, one hand moving up while the other moved lower, the young body shuddered and spasmed under his experienced fingers. He tweaked one nipple, stroking over the sensitive bud before moving on to the other one. He believed in equal treatment, after all. His other hand had wandered lower, fingers ghosting just above the start of the boy’s pubic hair. Stiles grew impatient, thrusting his hips forward, trying to force his hand lower but Derek was in charge…eventually, his fingers did wander south, playing with the coarse hair until they finally grabbed hold of a very impressive, hard shaft.

“Yes, just like that…keep going, don’t stop…harder…come on…” Stiles started mumbling, a litany of words falling from his lips which had Derek smiling almost instantly. The quiet had started to unsettle him just a little bit.

“On your hands and knees,” Derek ordered, voice strained. Stiles would probably not pick up the faint wobble but Derek could tell, nothing got passed him after all.

Stiles practically flew from his hands, vaulting forward as if his life depended on it, presenting his ass without any shame at all.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked, head tilted sideways so he could look at Derek through lowered lashes, his brown eyes practically on fire with raw, uninhibited desire. There were no mask here, no faking it… “Do you need an engraved invitation? A manual? Please tell me you’ve done this before…if not, do you want me to go back to the car and google it? I’m sure I’ll get reception out here…I’ve got a good provider! Got it especially with your freaking house in mind because if you’re going to have pack meetings out here, you’ll need someone to be research guy and no one else in your team has the brain power to do it.” 

Derek was frozen on the spot. Not sure if he was mesmerized by the white globes staring at him, the unmarked flesh ready to be marked with kisses and bites or if he was scared how Stiles managed to talk so much while one hand was almost ripping his own cock apart because it was moving up and down so rapidly.

“Well,” Stiles amended. “Lydia would be able to fill my shoes but let’s face it, she probably can’t be asked…and regardless of how much I love Scott, it’s a miracle the guy can find his shoes in the morning…and Jackson? He’d probably freak out, trying to please everyone and everything and then spending the rest of the day denying it…Allison…well…she could…but nah…I’m your research guy! So do you need me to go back and get my laptop? I’ve got a few pages book marked and there are even helpful videos. You strike me as more of a visual guy anyway…you can read right? Sure, what am I saying, of course, you can read…but I bet, you’d rather watch, right?”

Derek’s head was swimming by now and he had almost forgotten what he was here for… _almost_ being the key word because the word vomit currently falling from Stiles’ lips, shouldn’t be this enticing and yet, it was. He clearly was screwed. There wouldn’t be a single moment of silence in his future. A tiny, quiet voice in the back of his head took this moment to helpfully point out how he’d had way too many quiet moments lately and he’d probably would be better off with someone constantly yapping at him since it would keep the shadows at bay.

As usually, Derek wasn’t listening.

“Wait…” Stiles squeaked. “The condom…lube…” He frantically pointed towards his discarded clothes and Derek took a moment to retrieve the lube.

“Condom!” Stiles insisted.

“Don’t need it. Can’t transmit diseases and last time I checked, you can’t get pregnant…”

Stiles spluttered, craning his head, trying to look at him as Derek took position behind him. He wasn’t too gentle when he parted the goy’s legs further so he could easily fit between them, hands coming to rest on his hips. He yanked him backwards, rubbing his cock along the crack until it slid passed it, nudging at Stiles’ balls. Yet another squeak fell from Stiles’ lips but then he wiggled backwards, trying to impale himself, desperate for more.

Derek chuckled. The pain in his loins was nearly overpowering him, the desire to just shove ahead, force Stiles to take him, take him fully and unprepared, ripping the tight channel open because the boy belonged to him. He could do what he wanted, when he wanted and Stiles was going to take it, beg for it even but he didn’t.

Pulling back took much more control than he would’ve thought and he wasted no more time in putting a liberal amount of lube onto his dick. It deflated a little bit because the lotion was slightly cool to touch but one look at the presented ass, tiny hole smiling at him, practically winking at him and urging him to _come home_ …well, it was enough. He had to grip himself at the base, stalling his oncoming orgasm. He’d be dammed if he came before the boy…and so prematurely!

He squeezed more lube out onto his fingers, spreading it before he used one hand to pull the left cheek aside, exposing even more of Stiles’ most private place.

The rest of it was kind of blur. Barely aware, he pushed inside, penetrating Stiles and in a cheesy moment, he honestly thought _going where no man had gone before_ before something akin to an almost hysterical laugh tried to force itself free from deep inside him.

His heavy body was on top of Stiles’, hips pressed to the boy’s ass, his cock buried deep inside while he nuzzled on his neck.

The actual act, skin slapping on skin, hash breaths and grunts mingling with the otherwise natural sounds of the forest…well, it didn’t last long and it also lasted an eternity.

Pleasure overwhelmed him soon enough, pulling at the tight strings inside of him, uncoiling them and before he knew what was happening, he was coming, crying out.

Totally spent he slumped on top of the teen who crumbled down onto the moss and Derek had the foresight to force his tired limbs to move his body sideways.

“So…?” Stiles asked and Derek could practically hear the raised eye brow even if he couldn’t see it.

“So what?”

“You _feeling_ anything yet?”

“Ngh…” Derek grunted.

“There you go,” Stiles practically cooed, snuggling closer, putting his head on Derek’s chest, his hand landing low on his torso. “I told you. If sex with me wouldn’t fire up your wayward emotions, then you might just as well be dead.”

“Kind of full of yourself there, aren’t you?” Derek grunted, eyes still closed.

“It worked, didn’t it?” the boy countered and even though it pained him down to the deepest levels of his souls, Derek had no choice but to admit defeat.

“I guess so…”

“Hah!” Stiles exclaimed and Derek just knew, the teen was going to be insufferable from now on. But honestly, there were always ways to shut him up…and he was sure, he was going to be able to find lots of good uses for the teen’s inviting mouth…

A soft smile broke out across his face and while falling asleep bare assed in the middle of the forest was probably not the best idea, neither one of them minded.

After all, how often did happy endings come around? Basking in the afterglow, celebrating having come out on top after everything which had been thrown at them…well, reality could wait for a little while longer.

Let them enjoy this before the next crisis materialized because if life had taught him anything, then it was one thing: take happiness where you could find it before the next slap came your way.

And Derek had every intention of holding on to Stiles and of _slapping_ anything into submission who or what dared to come between them.

Maybe this wasn’t a perfect ending. They weren’t riding off into the sunset or inheriting a fortune which suddenly made everything right.

Derek was still somewhat broken; Stiles was still a menace; and there was his fledgling pack who would manage to get into trouble just by breezing, needing their Alpha to bail them out.

But for once, Derek was happy and this feeling, gnawing at his soul, was both foreign and terrifying at the same time…but hey, he was no coward. He was going to hold on to it and never let it go.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for staying with me and for all your comments and kudos. You all made me smile and this means more than I could ever tell you! Thank you! And I do think there will be more stories coming from me in the future, especially with season 2 coming up. Anyone know yet when it is due to air in the UK?


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